Do you get invited to parties every fucking night like I do? If the answer is yes, then you NEED to read this blog that I am writing. I wrote it JUST FOR YOU (you're welcome).

Chances are, the party you are going to is going to SUCK DICK so it will be your job to turn it into a KEWL PARTY that is worth blogging about.

Step 1: CLOTHING! Here is the deal, your cracka ass is gonna get tagged on facebook whether you like it or not. With that being said, you better be rockin some CHILL ASS THREADS! Here is what you need to wear. Roll up in a phat ass 3OH3 varsity jacket. When it gets too hot to rock the jacket, take that shit off and show off your Ed Hardy tee. Don't have an Ed Hardy tee? It is totally ok, a UFC shirt will do just fine.

Step 2: MUSIC! Have you ever heard of BYOB (bring your own b33r)? Well, whatever party you attend you need to remember BYOM (bring your own music). With that being said, the only music you should listen to is 3OH3 because those jams are original and fresh and funky and if you don't listen to them then you are totes LAME SAUCE!!! Bring your 3OH3 cd with you! So, as soon as you get to the party, march over to the dude with the biggest muscles and demand he plays your 3OH3 cd and then punch him in square the face. Don't worry about him trying to fight you after the punch, once he sees you in that 3OH3 varsity jacket... he will respect you and prob give you a French kiss or tug job or a high five at the very least!

Step 3: PICK UP LINES! You want to fuck a girl (or guy) tonight? Sure you do. All you need to do is walk up to a fat bitch and spit her some romantic poetry. Here is the best line to use:

"Shush girl shut your lips, do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips."

She will most likely share her drugs with you (ecstasy) and ride your junk right in the middle of the dance floor. Sex on x? Mission accomplished, bro-seph!

In other news, I wanted to sincerely thank 3OH3 for their music. They are the best in the world. I hope they just keep getting bigger and bigger. I hope they go on tour with Bruce Springsteen or Bon Jovi (insert livin' on a prayer lolz).

In other OTHER news, who do you think is the best band in NJ HISTORY? Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, The Years Gone By or The Mongoloids? Hmmm. That is a hard one. Get at us via Twitter (@fuckthatband) and fuckin' tell us!!!!

Green monsters seem to be everywhere in movies these days, Hulk, Yoda, that eyeball thing from Monsters Inc, my dick (insert dick lolz). But I forgot to mention one other green monster, Shrek! Not only is Shrek in a couple movies, the green cutie is also in the sick as hellz pop punk band called The Years Gone By! Radical bra!

Did you ever see Shrek? Shrek is a sick ass indie flick. If you love independent films like Napoleon Dynamite, Anchor Man, Saw 10, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, and all those James Bond movies, you will LOVE shrek. I saw Shrek at Sundance a few years back. The shit was radical. I love that one Smash Mouth song in the movie (I think its called All Star?). I cant wait for the next TYGB release, rumor has it that there will be a Smash Mouth cover on it. I hope it's that All Star song. "Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play!!! Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid!!!!"

Those are some sick lyrics. Very posi. I am going to make those lyrics my away message on AIM. God, I hope The Years Gone By cover that song. If anyone from TYGB is reading this blog, email me and let me know if you hotties are covering that song on the next album. Thnx.

I am thinking about getting a new AIM name. Should I? Will you IM me? Here is a list of possible new screen names I came up with (plz don't steal my ideas u posers)...

DaNumbr12lookzlykeUsux4e
BangbrosFan2009
MuxTapeWuzNeverKewl
UnderoathSHLDbreakUPasap
Iwanttohavesexwithmymacbook
obamaMOSHhard69
BrangelinaBOY123
tumblrIZstupid
FearlessWreckordzFan666

After I pick out a phat ass new screen name, my next mission will be to choose a sick as fuck away message. Here is a list of possible new away messages I came up with (plz don't steal my ideas u posers)...

Away Message: "Tring to get a ride to see Years Gone By play tonight. My mom is being a bitch. Can anyone give me a ride?!?! God, H8 my mom so much. I wish I lived with my dad."

Away Message: "The moon is down, and heaven is waiting. –Further Seems Forever"

Away Message: "SHeeees a Laydeeeeeee and Ladiesssss shouldn't be messed with, Out with MA gurls. Don't wait up cuz we are out being slutttts hehehehehe rofl"

Away Message: "this aint a scene it’s a gawd damm armz race. -Unknown"

Away Message: "Are we human? Or are we dancer? -Ghandi"

What do you guys think? What should I do??? Email me and let me know. kk <3 u guyz so0o0o00o much, friends 4e.

The holidays are here and we are just about done with 2008. It is that time of year again, time for every idiot music site out there to release their top 10 from the past 365 days (who cares, yo). We are no different than those assholes (we are trendy nerdz); the following is OURRRR top 10 releases of 2008. We do it a bit different here though; these are the 10 releases from 2008 that made us contemplate punching the shit out of a huge bee hive because getting stung by 1,000+ bees is a better feeling than listening to the following releases from 2008:

10. Dear and the Headlights - Drunk Like Bible Times
09. Houston Calls - The End of an Error...
08. The Morning Light - The Morning Light
07. Anberlin - New Surrender
06. Hey Monday - Hold On Tight
05. The Years Gone By - Forever Comes Too Soon
04. Fall of Troy - Phantom of the Horizon
03. MGMT - Oracular Spectacular
02. Artist Vs Poet - Artist Vs Poet
01. Forever the Sickest Kids - Underdog Alma Mater

Those releases, oh man, I would rather have my ball sack stung by a million bees than listen to the albums on that list again.

Wait, scratch that, I would rather have the bees rip open my ball sack with their stingers, enter my ball sack, and sting my actual balls a zillion times. Fuck, that sounds more appealing than listening to those tunes on that top 10 list. Can't wait until 2009.

If you mixed together slim shady, the Jonas Brothers, and kurt cobain I'm guessing this is prolly what you would get. Check out these chocolate syrup-covered idiots called Breathe Carolina. They sound like they look, shitty. I'm pretty sure I'd rather be watching that UBER radical teenage vampire thriller movie masterpiece (tee hee hee) called "twilight" than listening to their silly, silly musik. These dudes are signed to Rise Records. Oh Rise Records... U so0o0oo0o CRAY-ZEEE.

Ok, sorry to cut this short but I gotta go drink some blood now, that is what Breathe Carolina would want me to do... right???? But while I am out, can you totally try to get me the new Years Gone By mp3s off of da bit torrent or some shit? I hear that release is more even MORE gross than 2 girls 1 cup... I am curious to see if that is true. Is it? We shall see.