I am kinda nervous right now. There is all this talk about Swine Flu here in the United States of America em-MUR-ica. I am desperately trying my hardest to not get sick. I am too young to die.

Everyone I know is very conscious about their health lately, well, everyone but this guy from the ska/funk band called Hit the Lights. I'm not really sure what is wrong with him but I am scared as hell!!! The inside of his mouth has some sort of an infection growing!!! Is that some sort of contagious mold?!?! Not only does he HAVE a contagious mold growing in his mouth, BUT, he is SHOWING IT OFF?!?!?! Punk kidz R so0o0o0 strange-sauce!!!1!

I'll tell you what, you see that mold growing on the inside of his lip? Well, I would rather have that shit growing ALL OVER MY BODY than listen to one second of Hit the Lights. No joke.

But for realz, does anyone have any advice on how I can stay healthy and not catch Swine Flu or some other contagious diseases (i.e. mold growing on the inner part of my bottom lip)?

Here is what I got so far:

-Limited washing my hands to once a once a week

-Drink hand sanitizer

-Sneeze on my friends and cough on them

-Lick the wrestling mats at my high school after the wrestlers got done with practice

-Read the bible

I am pretty sure all that shit should keep me safe but DID I MISS ANY??? I need to stay alive because being alive is CHILL AS SHIT MAN. Agree/Disagree?

Do you guys like that tween RAWK sensation called The Boy and His Machine yet?

ZIP UP HOODIE GUY - Hey boy, can I feel your machine.

PURPLE SHIRT DUDE - Umm, plz let go of my wang...

ZIP UP HOODIE GUY - Twat, I CUNT hear you!!!

PURPLE SHIRT DUDE - Yes you can, your face is less than an inch away from my face and it is creeping me the fuck out braaa

ZIP UP HOODIE GUY - French kiss me.

PURPLE SHIRT DUDE - Oh shit, I would but I just realized that I got work tonight at Hot Topic!

ZIP UP HOODIE GUY - But bra, we got a show tonight, just call out!

PURPLE SHIRT DUDE - I can't man, it is Friday night and you know how WACKY the HT gets on Friday nights. SOrRy D00der. Just cancel the show, or better yet, just plug in some huge ass speakers into your iPod while it is playing a Hit the Lights CD. The crowd won't even know the difference man.

ZIP UP HOODIE GUY - Dude, you are TOTES right, we DO sound JUST LIKE Hit The Lights. Holy shit! WE ROCK!!!!@!1!!

(INSERT CHEST BUMP HERE)

WTF?????? You listen to Hit The Lights????? WTF????? They suck!!

Dear Surge Soda,

Miss you so much. We haven't talked in years, figured I'd write you a letter to let you know how shit is going.

Ever since you left us, planet Earth has turned to hell, omgz global warming, all the ice is melting, da polar bears are crying hard as hellll. But that news is NOTHING compared to how bad da music "scene" has been since you bounced. We now have bands like The Maine, 3oh!3, Family Force 5, Hit The Lights, and A Rocket To The Moon. Lyke, gag me with a sp00000n. kjdskjfdskjdsj (that wuz me throwing up on my Macbeth shoez)

Are all these shitty bands around because the human race just gave up all hope since Surge Soda left us? Maybe global warming is happening because of all of the shitty music sound waves that are trapped within the earths atmosphere and stuffzzz.

I am scared for 2009. Will Obama save us from da music? Will Obama start a band? Will his self titled 7inch go for 500 euro on ebay? Will his vinyl be limited edition hand numbered from 1 to 69. LOL at 69, obama is so funny for picking the number 69. Obama, you go boy!

In closing, Surge Soda, please get at Obama (send him a TXT message or some shit) and ask him to bring you back, this world needs you and your citrus explosion of flavor. Jus sayin'

Sincerely,
FuckThatBand.com Staff

Earlier this week, Hit The Lights announced that they will be shooting a music video for one of their latest songs called "Drop the Girl." I really hope that this video has nothing to do with "dropping girls" and has everything to do with "dropping their instruments." I am hoping for a video where they drop their instruments right in the path of a steam roller and it smashes the hell out of their stuff. Just the thought of Hit the Lights not being able to play their instruments anymore, it gives me such a happy feeling inside. Hit The Lights? More like Shit The Lights! Jus' sayin'