Oh shit! Have you heard the latest release from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? I mean, The Friday Night Boys? I mean the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? I mean, The Friday Night Boys? I mean the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? I mean, The Friday Night Boys?

FUCK. AM I RIGHT?

INSERT COWABUNGA/PIZZA JOKE HERE.

In other news, check out all these other NINJA TURTLE posts:

POST ONE

POST TWO

AND POST THREE

Enjoy... or don't... we don't really give a shit either way. Just sayin'

Dear Hayley Williams of Paramore,

"Hangin" with the boys from The Swellers does not make you cool. In fact, it makes you even more uncool than you already are. Those dudes are from Michigan for gods sake! Nothing good comes outta that country. Well, actually, Detroit is pretty cool. It a pretty up and coming location filled with lots of employment and lots of buildings that are not crumbling at all. Detroit - big in 2010, I'm callin' it. Giggle.

But OH HAAAAAY GIRL, you like pizza? Dude, so do I!!! SMALL WORLD!!! What do you like on your pizza? I like pubic hair on my pizza. I rip my pubic hair out and sprinkle it on my pizza. Tastes pretty "indie" if you ask me. You should try it. Oh wait, you are only 5 years old so you don't have pubic hair yet. ZING.

Where did you get that Minor Threat shirt? Whoa! Ian MacKaye LOLZ. Minor Threat sucks. Just sayin. And Hayley, just so you know, please don't think about wear a Bad Brains shirt either because I think I might throw up if you do. Minor Threat is crap, Bad Brains is crap. PUNK IZ DEAD. Washington D.C. never had a "scene" and they never will.

Oh man, all this typing shit talk is making me "hella" thirsty. Should I drink some ZICO Pure Coconut Water? I would rather not, that crap tastes like SHIT. I would rather french kiss a chainsaw then drink that shit. Just sayin. U mad? Pshhhh.

Sincerely,
FuckThatBand.com Staff

Umm... Yeah... Umm... Does that say Labia Starship?????? I am fuckin' positive that it does because there is no way in hell that it says Cobra Starship.

LOL @ shitty logos and shitty fonts.

"I make them good girls go bad" -The Labia Starships

P.S. DOES SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU? IF YOU SEND THIS LABIA STARSHIP POST TO 5 OF YOUR FRIENDS WITHIN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES YOU WILL KNOW WHO YOUR CRUSH IS. AFTER YOU SEND THE POSTS, PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. LOL.

What is that smell? Did I step in dog shit? Let me check my shoes. Nope, no dog shit there. Something is really stanking up my trendy studio apartment.

OH WOW!!! I KNOW WHAT IT IS!!! The thing that is making my apartment smell like dead babies/ Taco Bell/ burning tires/ gasoline/ Liz Claiborne cologne/ etc is the latest Cobra Starship CD that is sitting on my phat ass IKEA kitchen table. Their new release, it smells terrible. What do I do??? Wait, I have an idea... FEBREZE!!! My mom gave me some Febreze and she totally raves about it. She says it is the only thing that can make her vagina stop smelling like a horse farm.

Ok, here I go! (SPRAY SPRAY SPRAY!)

Ugh!!!! I sprayed Febreze Extra Strength Odor Eliminator all over the CD and it still smells horrendous!!! Fuck this!!!

Big fuck you to Cobra Starship for ruining my apartment. I think I am going to light my apartment on fire. I am going to watch it burn. Who needs a place to live, anyway? Having a home is overrated. I want to be more punk rock. Real punks don't have a home. I would rather just be homeless and creepy. I would rather just spend my days over at my local library being a creep and reading creepy books. Then, after they kick me out of the library, I would just walk over to my local Apple Store. That is the location where I can log onto the internet and look at p0rn. Looking at pur-no in a public setting is such an UBER turn on. Bill Gates would approve, right? That is why he invented Apple Stores.

P.S. Midtown iz kewl.

What's up, guys. I am totally sweating right now and my hair is sticking to the back of my neck and my face is breaking out even worse than before and it's disgusting. It's about 101 degrees here and I'm sitting in my backyard staring at my empty in-ground pool. Dad said we couldn't fill it up this year because we're in a recession and we don't have enough money for water/chlorine/blow up toys. My life totally sucks, but at least I am stealing internet from my neighbors, The Swellers.

That's right, I live next door to The Swellers. They are a band that you've never heard of. They are poor too, you can tell by their picture, which was taken by their little sister. They bought their plaid shirts at Salvation Army (the one on the right actually used to be my Grandpa's, RIP). They also only had enough hair gel for one guy to use (the guy in the front) and enough electricity for one guy to use a hair straightener (the guy in the red shirt).

Don't bother listening to their music, they recorded it in their garage using one of those car headset microphones that you can buy at Target. You can hear my screaming in the background for them to shut up. Anyway whatevs, I don't hate on poor people because I am one of them, but I just don't want you all to waste your money on their music because you will totally be disappointed.

Ok, gotta go try to find some rich kids to hang out with. Might try my local Outback Steakhouse Restaurant parking lot. I heard rich people love Outback. The blooming onion is something I dream about almost every night. I pray Santa brings me a bloomin' onion this year for Kwanzaa. Peace out poor kidz.

P.S. Click HEREEEE for another post about Da Swellerz. OK? OK!

Versa Emerge. Dude looks like an owl. The end.

Do you like video games? Are video games kewl? Do you PWN your friends in video games? I like video games a great deal because I enjoy staring at a screen for 20+ hours a day pretending to be someone I am not. Is that ok? Hope so.

Should I play this Sonic the Hedgehog video game because it has a guest appearance by Hayley Williams from the hit tween rock group called Paramore?

I wonder if this Sonic game is a 2 player game or just a 1 player game? Not sure why I am wondering though, I don't have anyone to play with me so I hope it is just a 1 player game. I wish I had a friend to play video games with. I mean, I do have a friend. He is a ghost though, so I guess what I am trying to say is... wish I had a friend who wasn't a ghost. Wish I had a friend who was real enough to be touched.

Not touch in a perverted way!!! EWWW U R SICK!!!

But seriously though, video games R kewl. Which is your fav vid game system console? Here is a list of my favz:

- N64
- Leapster
- xbox
- ps3
- Amazon Kindle
- wii
- Snuggie Book Light
- Burger King Kids Meal
- Game Boy Advance
- Dream Cast
- Atari
- CD Walkman

Do video games rot ur brain? I am thinking about turning this site into a video game blog. Yes/ No/ Maybe? Let me know. Email me your fav video game so I can blog about it.

I am sooo0o00oo0o0 bored. I think I will take one of those "I'M BORED SURVEY" things. Ok, here I go...

Do you have feelings for the last person you texted?
Yes. It was my mom. I want to fugg her but I am nervous to ask her cuz I think my dad would get mad cuz I am "DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL" or something like that???

When was the last time you were on the phone with the opposite sex for over an hour?
Last night. My best friend was threatening to commit suicide because she lost her iphone and she has noodz on it so she was all upset that her noodz might leak or something?

Say something about the last person you kissed?
I was at a Cobra Starship show and my mom and I kissed with our tongues. It was weird at first but kinda "chill" at the same time. I am just experimenting. I am a teen. Teens experiment right??? I mean, come on, Bill Nye the Science Guy experiments with science? Why can't I experiment with my mom?

Yesterday night, what did you do?
Listened to the latest Cobra Starship cd. That shit is terrible but when you listen to it backwards it sounds SOOOOO ARTSY and I want to be more ARTSY.

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
My mom is at McDonalds getting me a McFlurry. THANKS MOM.

Have your parents ever met anyone famous?
They met the members of Cobra Starship. Gabe iz hot.

What color are your eyes?
I don't have eyes.

If you were kicked out of your current residence, whom would you call?
Probably President Obama.

Do you think relationships are hard?
My dick is hard right now, does that count?? LOL??

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
This survey is boring.

Has anyone lied to you today?
This survey is boring.

If you get a chance to move somewhere, where would you move?
This survey is boring.

When's the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
This survey is boring.

Do you like to cuddle/snuggle?
I like to smoke weed.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
Taco Bell.

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
This survey is boring.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Drive Thru Records is awesome. Love you Richard and Steph!

Have you ever thrown a shoe at someone?
Yes, at George W. Bush. LOL?

Do you currently have any hickeys?
Yes, I am a bad boy.

What's bothering you right now?
I got a paper cut on my clit. OUCH-EEZ!

Do you wear a lot of black?
Hell yeah baby-boi!

Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
Yo this survey sucks. I gotta go now. Bye.

Oh hai! What is going on? Oh, just the usual, Alex from All Time Low is just chillin' with Hayley from Paramore. Such a cute couple. Are they dating? I don't know. If anyone knows, please email me.

Ok, I gotta go now, I need to get ready for my garage sale I am having. I am going to sell all my old Hurley shirts to TRENDY n00bz so I can get $$$ to buy some To Write Love On Her Arms shirts. Fuck ya. So, if you are a trendy shit head (and I know you are), come on over to my garage sale tomorrow morning.

P.S. I am also gonna be selling all of my old Busted Tees shirts cuz I just realized that funny/ cool/ retro/ vintage/ tees are just "not scene" anymore. I hope Jake/ Amir/ da college humor crew don't hate me.

I was doing some serious thinking earlier today... I really need to get me a new hat. Hats are super important (DJ Rossstar said so!). Only KEWL dudes wear hats. For example, the drummer of The Friday Night Boys, he is a fuckin kewl dude (insert Stars Hide Fire lolz). But for realsies, check out his totes awesome hat. If you know him, ask him If I could buy that hat off of him. I NEEEEED THAT HAT BAD!!!

Dude, If I had that hat, I could just walk into any Chili's Restaurant (ZAGAT RATED, ya know?) and the waitress would totes hook me up with a free order of BABY BACK RIBS!!! Fuck yea. Do you like BABY BACK RIBS??? Sure you do. I would do anything for dem baby back ribbies. Wanna get zany/wacky/kooky? Try marinating ur baby back ribs in heroine and crack! Mmmmmmm. I am salivating just thinking about that. Drugz and Ribz, get into it! But don't try stealing my recipe and selling it to Rachel Ray or Da F00d Netwerk or whatever cuz my recipe is (C) and if you ever try acting like you were the original creator of baby back ribs marinated in heroine and crack, I will shank you with a homemade shank that I made out of a broken Friday Night Boyz CD.

P.S. Have you guyz ever been to Jack In Da BoxXx (zagat rated I think?). Jack in Da Box iz g00d. TXT me later on if you wanna go to Jack In Da Boxxxxxxx with me. I can pick you up in my Dodge Neon. We can listen to The Friday Night Boys in my car. I mean, Boys Like Girls. I mean The Friday Night Boys. I mean Boys Like Girls. I mean The Friday Night Boys. I mean Boys Like Girls. I mean The Friday Night Boys. I mean Boys Like Girls. I mean The Friday Night Boys. I mean Boys Like Girls.

The singer of Paramore looks like a dog. Woof! UR WOOFIN'

The singer of Paramore looks like a cat. Meow! UR MEOWIN'

This just in!!! The dude from Brighten / A Rocket To The Moon has just invented a brand new drinking game!!! Have you ever heard of BEER PONG??? Well, the new game he made up is called WOLF PONG!!!

The instructions for WOLF PONG is very similar to BEER PONG. Instead of throwing a ping pong ball into a cup of beer, you have to throw a full grown wolf into a cup of beer! The game is becoming uber popular amongst the college/frat dudes. I played the game last night and I got soooooo wasted!!! How wasted was I, you ask??? Well, I was so wasted that for a brief 5 seconds, I actually thought that the music of Brighten was half way decent, then after 10 seconds I sobered up and realized that my ears were just playing tricks on me. BOOZE DOES THAT TO YOU... ESPECIALLY BOOZE THAT HAS A WOLF SITTING IN IT!!! lolz? Yes, lolz.

Oh god, The Cab, great. Fuck man. These guys. I would rather pour 10 pounds of Fun Dip Candy Powder directly into my eyes and then scoop my eyeballs out with an extremely sharp Fun Dip candy stick than listen to music that The Cab makes.

In other news, I got a great idea for a brand new candy. It can be a mixture of horse shit and raisins and we can call it CAB CAKES! Do you think it would sell? I think so! And inside every CAB CAKE wrapper there could be a digital download code for assholes to download a Maroon 5 song, I mean, a Cab song, I mean, a Maroon 5 song, I mean, a Cab song, I mean, a Maroon 5 song, I mean, a Cab song.

My mom FORGOT to renew my Alternative Press Magazine subscription AGAIN!!!! This is the last straw!!! I am so mad at her!!!! I hate my mom!!! I HATE YOU MOM!!!

UPDATE: My mom said she was sorry to me. I told her that I would only love her and accept her apology if she could get Cobra Starship to play at my sweet 16 party. I want to fuck Gabe Saporta so bad. I want my mom to video tape it. I want to post it on youtube and shit. My mom better get this shit done!!!

If my mom does not make all this happen, I am going to start doing everything I promised her I would never do.

Here is a list of things I promised her I would never do:

1. Smoke w33d.

2. Drink booze/ alcohol/ rubbing alcohol.

3. Swallow animal cum.

4. Steal a car.

5. Smell "stuff" that makes me "dizzy" and "confused."

6. Call 911 and tell them that my name is Big Bird and I live on Sesame Street and I accidentally cut my dick open with a knife/ shank/ whatever.

7. Burn shit with a magnifying glass.

8. Listen to DJ Rossstar's Punk Rock Show.

9. Pick up a dog and throw it.

10. Pull my hair out of my head myself and then tell my teacher that my mom pulled my hair out.

11. Use a Ouija board so I can "talk" to dad.

12. Get a RIP DAD tattoo on my arm.

13. Fuck my ghost dad.

14. Vote Republican.

15. Vote Democrat.

Dear mom, you better make all my dreams come true or I will disappoint you and make you extremely embarrassed. UR A SKANK!

This just in! Everytime you listen to Versa Emerge, Obama dresses up like Spock and yells at a panda bear. He yells loud. Very loud. For no reason. NO REASON AT ALL!!! The panda bears are all very scared. Only you can save the panda bears. Please stop listening to Versa Emerge. Please?

I would rather drink six bottles of Listerine in five minutes than listen to five minutes of The Friday Night Boys. Just sayin' FUCKIN GET WASTEDDDDD!

Trippin' on Listerine > Listening to FNB

Seriously, The Friday Night Boys sound like a an even shittier version of Boys Like Girls. Is that even possible? Why can't more bands sound like Motionless In White? Motionless In White fuckin ROCK! Have you heard them yet? So good.

Ok, I gotta jet. Peace the FUCK out internet dorks, I got lots of shit I gotta get to. Don't believe me? Wanna read my TO DO LIST? Ok, here it is:

- Listen to more music by Motionless In White because I think I am getting too tan and I think that if I listen to more Motionless In White, I will become more pale and pale skin is fuckin RADICAL MAN!

- Drink some Listerine cuz I am totally "thirsting" for some "adventure" (whatever that means).

- Spike my hair so girls think I am rebellious.

- Write "Motionless In White fuckin rocks" on the back of my JanSport/ Trapper Keeper/ Five Star/ JNCO jeans/ etc with black sharpie marker so girls think I am rebellious.

- Get a job at the mall (Hot Topic plz) so I can take breaks in the food court because that shit is cool.

- Make lots of money at my mall job so I can finally pay my dad back (kinda sick of paying him back with sex).

- Make $3,500 so I can buy a brand new Apple laptop/ Mac laptop / Google laptop / Lego - Laptop / Flintstones Vitamins Laptop.

- Get an apartment so I can "get the fuck out of the house" and listen to The Maine as loud as I want to without my old ass grandma yelling at me and calling me a "devil worshiper" and shit. Old bitch. Old bitches don't know about how sick The Maine is.

- Paint more pictures of quiet/peaceful landscapes (my doctor said that would be "therapeutic" or something).

- Lose 170 pounds by tomorrow night.

- Try to kick my Listerine addiction.

- Tell my mom I love her before "it's 2 late" and whatever.

Who do you think has a bigger wang monster? Ronald McDonald or Hayley Williams from the band Paramore? I am going to take a guess and say that Hayley probably has a longer wang monster but Ronald probably has a thicker wang monster. JUST SAYING.

But come on, let's get real for a moment. Who's wang monster would you rather suck? Ronald McDonald's wang monster or Hayley's wang monster? HARD QUESTION, I KNOW!!! I don't know about you, but I would rather swallow Ronald's jizz cuz it probably tastes like a McFlurry and Hayley's jizz probably tastes just as bad as the latest Paramore release. DO NOT WANT HAYLEY'S JIZZ!!!!!!! JUST SAYING.

Eight Things I Look Forward To This Summer:
01 graduating high school this June.
02 turning 21 this June.
03 seeing what happens on gossip girl.
04 going to see Gym Class Heroes LIVE IN CONCERT (15th time! U jealous?).
05 flip flops.
06 warped tour.
07 interning at Drive Thru Records.
08 starting my own clothing company.

Eight Things I Did Yesterday:
01 sleepin pills, they help me "relax" and shit.
02 coke!!! Took some coke. First time ever. Lost my "C" card lolz.
03 purchased flip flops from Old Navy. <3OldNavy4e.
04 ate a lot of bubble tape, you like bubble tape? I do.
05 complained about "the economic crisis" and shit.
06 flirted with Travis McCoy (syke! I wish!)
07 ate nachos and cheese with Travis McCoy (syke! I wish!).
08 went fishing with my dad (jk, my dad walked out on me and mom when I was 3 months old, sucks, I fuckin hate my life).

Eight Things I Wish I Could Do:
01 hang out with my dad. :-(
02 hang out with Travis McCoy. :-)
03 work in the music industry.
04 make the voices stop.
05 experiment with an animal (or ghost).
06 get "closure" and shit.
07 move to "the city" and use public transportation on a daily basis.
08 get a tattoo of Travis McCoy's face on my tits.

This is a message to Paramore, I really hope they read this blog because I have a bone to pick with them! I want my fuckin money back! This green CD that I got from you guys does NOT fit into my CD PLAYER at home! WTF!!! What gives?!?!?!?! This CD is WAY TOO BIG!!! Thanks for ripping me off. H8 you guys so0o0o much for doing this too me!!! @$$HOLES!!!!!

I would rather eat bugs than listen to The Swellers. I hate that band so much. So much. Man. Seriously. WTF. Hate them. H8 H8 H8.

Sent from my iPhone

Sent from my MacBook Pro

Sent from my Rosetta Stone language-learning software

Just got an email earlier. The person is speaking about our Midtown post from a few days ago called "Midtown Music On The Internet?"

I am really confused... Midtown broke up? Lies. Fuckin lies. I hate lies so much. People who spread lies are total assholes. I hate it when people spread dumb rumors about bands breaking up. NOT KEWL DUDE.

But seriously though, can someone give me a ride to the Midtown show next week in the city??? My mom is being a total BITCH HOE SKANK right now and refuses to drive me because she works 2 jobs and says she is too tired. Fuck her. She is poor, NOT MY PROBLEM!!! UGHHHHHHHH.

P.S. Have you heard that new Midtown song yet??? The one called "Snakes On A Plane (Bring It)" and I am calling it right now, it is TOTALLY gonna be the SONG OF THE SUMMER. For realsies.

I am looking for a place where I can buy music online. It is really hard to get music online. I just don't feel like driving to my local record store anymore, gas prices man, TOO HIGH DUDE. I figured it is easier to just get my songs from the internet. Ya know what I mean?

Have you guys ever heard of iTunes? I hear it is a place where I can buy music. Can I search by artist? I am looking for some stuff from the band called Midtown. You guys probably never heard of Midtown. Midtown is going to be huge.

Midtown has a bunch of great songs. Here is a list of Midtown songs you need to download ASAP.

1. Guilty Pleasure
2. The City is at War
3. Guilty Pleasure
4. The City is at War
5. Guilty Pleasure
6. The City is at War

I love punk rock music. Music is my life. Midtown is my life. MTV is my life. Twitter is my life. McDonalds Dollar menu is my life. Costco is my life. Verizon BlackBerry CrackBerry is my life. FuckThatBand.com is my life. FuckThatBand.com is your life. FuckThatBand.com is my present to you. Happy Birthday.

Who the fuck is No Doubt and why do I care they are doing a reunion tour??? Is this supposed to be a big deal??? OOOOO wait, I never knew that the singer of No Doubt was a girl??? That's kinda cool. There aren't a lot of girl singers out there these dayzzzz.

Oh sweet, I just heard that No Doubt is doing a tour with Paramore (also a gurl singer) and The Sounds (yet another gurl singer). A whole tour with all girl singers?!/1??! COWABUNGA DUDE!!! Maybe I can SCORE some sic puss puss???!!! I gotta make sure to rock the AXE BODY SPRAY hard as hell wink wink nudge nuge (hayyyy layyyy deeeez).

But seriously though, wtf, how come Chiodos isn't on the No Doubt reunion tour? The singer of Chiodos, she must be so0o0o0o pissed off. Chiodos is bigger than all those bands COMBINED!!!! I am so pissed right now.

Wouldn't it be cool if FuckThatBand.com got a chance to put together our VERY OWN WORLD TOUR??? I would TOTALLY sell all three of my kidneys to make that happen. We would name it the GIRL POWER WORLD TOUR EXTRAVAGANZA and it would have the following girl fronted bands on the bill: Paramore, Versa Emerge, Chiodos, Katy Perry, Rilo Kiley, and Ace of Base.

Hey, what can I say, I iz a sucker for them girl vocals.

This is a post about bird shit. This is also a post about the band called A Rocket to the Moon.

You know that feeling you get when you just wash your car and then 30 minutes later, a huge bird shits all over it? That is how I feel when I listen to A Rocket to the Moon. (insert sad face here, plz)

Speaking of bird shit, earlier today I was eating vanilla ice cream in the park. I noticed some "vanilla ice cream" on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It turns out, it was bird shit. (insert sad face here, plz)

I blame all of these terrible bird shit occurrences on the fact that A Rocket to the Moon is a band. I hope they break up soon because I am not sure if I can take much more of this! (insert sad face here, plz)

OMG! Late breaking news! Hayley Williams from the band Paramore has dyed her hair rainbow colors! She is looking hotter than ever with the new dye job. WOULD.

I hate Cute is What We Aim For. I hated them even before Owen Wilson was in the band.

Yawn.

Zzzzzzz.

You know what DOESN'T exist but I wish DID exist? Unicorns.

You know what DOES exist that I wish DIDN'T exist? The latest release from This Providence.

I would rather have a unicorn fly down from heaven and stab me in the face numerous times with that huge horn than listen to one second of This Providence. Just sayin'

Dear Hayley Williams of Paramore,

Why do you think those boys want to be in a band with you? Do you think these dudes just stay in the band because maybe they think that they'll get some action from you? Do they just stay in the band because they think that you are Jeffree Star? You should be honest with them and let them know that you are not Jeffree Star. You need to let them know who you really are. You are Hayley Williams.

But really though, I think the boys in your band might want to BOINK you. They sacrifice their dignity and musical talent for a chance at some play. It's cool yo, I'd do the same thing. In fact, one time I straight up joined a church just to get with a nun. It never happened tho, she was a total cocktease. But she was chill as hell, she hooked me up with a 25 dollar iTunes gift card for my Bday. God bless her, and iTunes. Na mean? WWJSD? What would Jeffree Star do??? Shit ya man!

Sincerely,
FuckThatBand.com Staff

P.S. Did you miss the other 3 Paramore posts we did? You did?! Shit. Well, look HERE, HERE, and HERE. Ok? Ok.

Hey, we're The Hush Sound, you can call us the Hush tho brah. Or 'the Sound.' Or the HS. Or just call us whatever, brahski-rino. We're so chill. We just like to sit around alot, you know "lounge". We chill so hard. We relax so hardcore it hurts. Brodoggdude, I chillax so hard I should get paid for it. I work so hard at just chillin' out and shit, talkin' about surfin', even though I've never surfed but it seems like it'd be super chill. I surfed the internet once. That was pretty chill. This dude offered to send me penis enlargement pills but I never got them. What's up with that? I did get identity theft though. That is the last time I give out my social security number to some dude from Kenya.

A moment of silence for my boys in Phantom Planet since they broke up a few weeks back. (insert cricket noises) Ok, now serious question, do you think these guys called each other up last night to see what everyone was wearing? Look, they're wearing the same shirts. What girls. Girls do stuff like that. Do you think their period schedules are synced up too, or no? Do you think they will all get preggo together??? Will the members breast feed the babies or will they just do regular milk??? I heard breast feeding is better for da babyz. I wonder what does Phantom Planet breast milk taste like... a vanilla milkshake?!??!?!

Califoooooooorrrnnniaaaa. Here we CUM!!! Get it? I typed CUM instead of COME. I am tricky as fuck. But let me get honest for a second. I'd rather watch all 4 seasons and 92 episodes of the OC than listen to one second of Phantom Planet. Although they made the OC theme song so I guess I'd be screwed either way. Fuck.

All this typing is making me thirsty, off to get a vanilla milkshake from Burger King. When I talk to the person at the cash register, I will just tell them I want a medium Phantom Planet Breast Milkshake. They will know what I mean, right?!!?!?!?!?! YoUr WaY RiGhT AwAy. The king knows wuz up. Fuck Ronald (ba da da da da im hatin' it), it is all about da king in 2k9.

Dear Surge Soda,

Miss you so much. We haven't talked in years, figured I'd write you a letter to let you know how shit is going.

Ever since you left us, planet Earth has turned to hell, omgz global warming, all the ice is melting, da polar bears are crying hard as hellll. But that news is NOTHING compared to how bad da music "scene" has been since you bounced. We now have bands like The Maine, 3oh!3, Family Force 5, Hit The Lights, and A Rocket To The Moon. Lyke, gag me with a sp00000n. kjdskjfdskjdsj (that wuz me throwing up on my Macbeth shoez)

Are all these shitty bands around because the human race just gave up all hope since Surge Soda left us? Maybe global warming is happening because of all of the shitty music sound waves that are trapped within the earths atmosphere and stuffzzz.

I am scared for 2009. Will Obama save us from da music? Will Obama start a band? Will his self titled 7inch go for 500 euro on ebay? Will his vinyl be limited edition hand numbered from 1 to 69. LOL at 69, obama is so funny for picking the number 69. Obama, you go boy!

In closing, Surge Soda, please get at Obama (send him a TXT message or some shit) and ask him to bring you back, this world needs you and your citrus explosion of flavor. Jus sayin'

Sincerely,
FuckThatBand.com Staff

Shit man. Panic at the Disco. Love it. I got nuthin but much love for this band right heer, for these peeps I just got mad love, homey. Props. Crazy ill props. Things I also like: the government, getting punched in the face with a huge dildo, and YO GABBA GABBA. Panic at the Disco be off the hook. Or the chain. I'm never sure which one it is. Maybe both. I chimed in with a haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door no. So good. So so good.

Just kidding. Fuck that band. The only way I would ever start listening to them is if one of the monsters from YO GABBA GABBA joined them. Then shit would be rocking hard as hell. Until the monster joins, I will not listen. Shaaaa braaaaaa.

This band is called The Cab. Cool. Have you ever seen the movie "Taxi" with Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon? Me neither, that sounds like a horrible idea for a movie. Those are the two worst actors in history. How does Queen Latifah get work? She has no range of character. Anyways, I'm sure The Cab is worse than that movie, but I wouldn't know because I haven't seen or listened to either, because I have taste. Ooooo burn!!! Zing zing zing!!!

EDIT: Ok, I heard The Cab. It was so bad, so bad that I threw up all over my printer. Great. Now how am I going to print out my 20 page paper for my FINAL EXAM??? FUCK ME. I hope I dont have to retake Intro to Psychology during the summer semester. I want to go to the beach and skateboard, dont want to learn about human development or how my brain processes stuff. I no like no summer school. Bookz suck ballz. Learning is le sigh. Plus livin' on campus during the summer sucks cuz all my friends R gone. Fuck. It would be a ghost town man. What should I do?? Please someone contact me, i am crying. I hate my HP printer. Fuckkkk.

ParaMORE? More like ParaLESS, am I right????? No??@?@!??!?! Fuck, is what I just typed not funny?>>!!?? Is that possible??? Shit. Sorry. It's just that I've been studying so hard with all my college finals and shit. I feel pretty delusional right now. Pullin all nighters, drinking da red bulls, takin da adderall (shhh don't tell mom), eating tons of Mac N Cheese, etc etc.

The only thing getting me through these finals is the chill ass MIX TAPE (cdr) that I made from my iTunes. I call it the FINALS SUCK @$$ MIX CD. Here is the track list (in case you wanna make your own): 1. Misery Business by Paramore. 2. Misery Business by Paramore. 3. Misery Business by Paramore. 4. Misery Business by Paramore. 5. Misery Business by Paramore.

I play the CD on repeat. I listen over and over. I blast it real loud. My RA is getting pissed off. Quiet hours in the dorm for finals is so lame. Why doesn't this school understand my need to listen to Paramore at 4am? Why. I thought this was America. I cant wait until OBAMA is officially in office, he will change this country. I hope he changes the name of this country. It should be called United States of Paramore. Or the United States of Hayley Williams? Or maybe the United States of the Singer of Paramore Still Looks Like Jeffree Star. Jus' sayin.

P.S. Did you miss our other posts about Hayley lookin' like Jeffree?? Look HERE and HERE son.

Versa Emerge (super shitty band name) has signed to Fueled By Ramen Records (omg same label as Panic @ da dizz-koz). Versa Emerge is a hot steaming pile of mess. God, there is so much LOL content I can say about this band but I fear my keyboard will break due to the rapid typing that would take place. Maybe I should switch to MAC? Is PC too 1999??? I wonder what the singer of Versa Emerge uses??!?! MAC or PC??? Fuck. I am so confused. Please god someone from Versa Emerge contact me ASAP so I can get my shit together. Only you can save me.

Get ready for some The Academy Is content. We just found out about this site called StarDoll.com. Here is a brief 'about us' directly from their site: "Stardoll is a virtual paperdoll community site for everyone who enjoys fashion, design and making friends. At Stardoll you can create your own MeDoll or choose from our ever growing collection of celebrity dolls and dress them up in our wide selection of fashions."

We here at FuckThatBand.com were really excited when our friend emailed us a link to the site so we could dress up our very own William Beckett (singer of The Academy Is)!!! Lucky us!!! We always wanted to dress up our very own Michael Jackson... oops, I mean William Beckett, er, I mean Michael Jackson... I mean William Beckett... I mean Michael Jackson... I mean William Beckett... I mean Michael Jackson... I mean William Beckett...

Attention everyone, bust out your Chicago Bulls jerseys and throw your b-ballz in da air, Dennis Rodman has joined The Friday Night Boys!!!1!!! I totally saw them play last night and they sucked real bad but it was still phat as hell to see Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan moshing hard as hell. Them boyz got moves on the dance floor.

Rumor has it that Cobra Starship have already started work on their follow-up to their latest album called "Viva la Cobra." No word yet as to what the band will be calling their next release, but we are going to take a guess and say it will be called "The Songs We Write Are Just As Bad As The Jokes Carlos Mencia Tells."

I love bands who have hot as hell female lead singers with really nice tits. That is exactly why I love The Academy Is. That chick is so hot. Red hot. Wait, that is not a girl? Are you sure? Stop it. You are serious? It is a guy? Wow. Ok. Now this is just plain awkward.

Once again, we still think that the singer of Paramore looks exactly like Jeffree Star. Did you miss the first post we did about this? CLICK HERE TO SEE IT.

Gabe Saporta (ex Midtown, current Cobra Starship) totally reminds me of Vanilla Ice. The two of them also have a great deal in common, they both suck. Ya know?

The singer of Paramore looks exactly like Jeffree Star. Just sayin'

Shitty tour alert: I give you the Verizon Wireless College Tour 2008. The tour is going on from late September until middle October. What jerks are on the tour, you ask? Boys Like Girls, Cute is What We Aim For, and Lights. All three bands suck, but, ya know, ITS COLLEGE BRO!!!! DUDE COLLEGE IS KICK ASS, IM GONNA JOIN A FRAT!!! If you want to go to one of the shows to boo and heckle Boys Like Girls, check out their MySpace for all the dates. Also, when you see them, ask the sleeping idiot why he was sleeping during the photo shoot. Derrrrrrrrrr.

Big news, the drummer of Cute is What We Aim For (Tom Falcone) has quite the band. Huge congratulations to him for coming to his senses.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Tempe, Arizona's very own The Maine! The band has got some killer tunes... and by killer I mean the tunes turn me into a killer. I want to kill my iPod for even letting me add those mp3s onto it. Then I want to kill my ear buds for even letting that garbage travel through its wires. Then I want to just kill myself after hearing the tunes.

But wait, there is good news; the one dude in the band totally looks like a cross between Smokey the Bear and that one dude from Dumb and Dumber. Not Jim Carrey, the other dude, what is his name? Oh yeah, Jeff Daniels. So yeah, The Maine is hitting the road pretty soon with The Academy Is and then with All Time Low so if you go to one of their shows and you see the Smokey the Bear looking guy, totally give him a high five because he looks like he knows how to party. As for the other guys in the band, stay away from them, I don't trust them. Only trust the Smokey the Bear/Dumb and Dumber guy. Cool? Cool. K thnx bye.