I would rather have sex with a half dog half horse thing than get a New Found Glory or a Forever the Sickest Kids tatty. Man. Just sayin.

In other "having sex with a horse" news, have you seen 2 Guys 1 Horse/Mr Hands??? Shit is pretty artsy/cool. Don't know what I am talkin about? Google it. U WONT. lol? YES PLZ!

Do you remember your first time DOING IT? Do you remember when you lost your virginity? How was it? Were you nervous? Please tell me because I am still a virgin and I really need some advice. I would ask my mom but she is never home anymore because she got a new boyfriend and her boyfriend (Steve) doesn't like me. Sucks. He is a douche bag. Miss you mom. Come home soon plz.

Anyways, my one friend told me that it is really important for me to have "meaningful love making music" playing in the background during my first time. When someone mentions "meaningful love making music" - the first band that pops into my head is Slipknot. You might not know who they are yet because they are not popular yet but I recommend them if you are into acoustic "chillin out" shit.

I like Slipknot. They are a grunge band from Seattle, Washington that is heavily influenced by Nirvana. Nirvana is another really young band, they aren't too big yet because they aren't signed to a label but as soon as they get signed, I think they will be big. Not as big as The Gaslight Anthem, but pretty close.

For real though, can I get real for a second? Should I have Slipknot blasting on the stereo while I am losing my virginity? I plan on losing my V card after prom. Would my girlfriend be into "doin it" to the soothing sounds of Slipknot after prom?

Speaking of prom, should I wear a Slipknot mask with my tuxedo? Do you think my girlfriend will wear a Slipknot mask too? We could get matching Slipknot masks. That would be pretty CUTE. Would we win the "cutest couple" award and shit?

Speaking of masks, QUESTION: Which band wears cooler masks?

A: Slipknot
B: Forever the Sickest Kids
C: Hollywood Undead
D: DJ Rossstar

Please email me your answers. K thanx byyyee.

Every time you listen to Forever the Sickest Kids, a kitten breaks its leg.

Why would you want to hurt an innocent kitten? Please stop listening to Forever the Sickest Kids. K? Thnx.

If you find yourself at a New Years Eve party this year and you seriously HATE everyone there, here is a sure fire way to ruin the lives of every soul at the shin dig: all you have to do is put some Sky Eats Airplane on the stereo. Once all the peeps at the par-tay hear that bands music, they will all be like "My stomach has that sick/vomity feeling to it from all da drinking I have been doing but that feeling is heaven compared to what my ears feel like as I am listening to Sky Eats Airplanez (my earz feel like they are being ripped to shreds by a Rottweiler with rabies)."

I mean come on, this band is from Texas. Eww. Garbage comes out of Texas: Forever the Sickest Kids (omg call me!), Dallas Cowboys (superbowl champs 2k9? LoL jk), Stone Cold Steve Austin (gimmie da stunner plz), Lance Armstrong (love those live strong bracelets though, lol), Patrick Swayze (so0o hawt), and Play Radio Play (zzzz).

But huge congratulations to Sky Eats Airplane for releasing their second full length album on Shitty Vision Records, lots of total hotties are saying it is THE WOOT. The CD is called "Sky Eats Airplane"... how original. But I guess self-titled albums are all the rage these days. If From First to Last can do it, so can Sky Eats Airplane I guess. Oh shit, look at the time, One Tree Hill is on, gotta run. Bye bye.

The holidays are here and we are just about done with 2008. It is that time of year again, time for every idiot music site out there to release their top 10 from the past 365 days (who cares, yo). We are no different than those assholes (we are trendy nerdz); the following is OURRRR top 10 releases of 2008. We do it a bit different here though; these are the 10 releases from 2008 that made us contemplate punching the shit out of a huge bee hive because getting stung by 1,000+ bees is a better feeling than listening to the following releases from 2008:

10. Dear and the Headlights - Drunk Like Bible Times
09. Houston Calls - The End of an Error...
08. The Morning Light - The Morning Light
07. Anberlin - New Surrender
06. Hey Monday - Hold On Tight
05. The Years Gone By - Forever Comes Too Soon
04. Fall of Troy - Phantom of the Horizon
03. MGMT - Oracular Spectacular
02. Artist Vs Poet - Artist Vs Poet
01. Forever the Sickest Kids - Underdog Alma Mater

Those releases, oh man, I would rather have my ball sack stung by a million bees than listen to the albums on that list again.

Wait, scratch that, I would rather have the bees rip open my ball sack with their stingers, enter my ball sack, and sting my actual balls a zillion times. Fuck, that sounds more appealing than listening to those tunes on that top 10 list. Can't wait until 2009.

Did you see the latest issue of Alternative Press? Forever the Sickest Kids are on the cover. The cover story is probably about how more and more actors are turning musical and starting bands. Ya know what I mean, like for example, the predator obviously joined Forever the Sickest Kids. I wonder if Arnold Schwarzenegger likes that band?

Forever the Sickest Kids have done it again... these guys sure do know how to look like idiots.

Judging from the picture above, apparently Kenny G joined the insanely popular (don't ask me why) Texas band called Forever the Sickest Kids. Match made in heaven if you ask me. Fuck yeah bro! God bless America.