Umm... Yeah... Umm... Does that say Labia Starship?????? I am fuckin' positive that it does because there is no way in hell that it says Cobra Starship.

LOL @ shitty logos and shitty fonts.

"I make them good girls go bad" -The Labia Starships

P.S. DOES SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU? IF YOU SEND THIS LABIA STARSHIP POST TO 5 OF YOUR FRIENDS WITHIN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES YOU WILL KNOW WHO YOUR CRUSH IS. AFTER YOU SEND THE POSTS, PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. LOL.

What is that smell? Did I step in dog shit? Let me check my shoes. Nope, no dog shit there. Something is really stanking up my trendy studio apartment.

OH WOW!!! I KNOW WHAT IT IS!!! The thing that is making my apartment smell like dead babies/ Taco Bell/ burning tires/ gasoline/ Liz Claiborne cologne/ etc is the latest Cobra Starship CD that is sitting on my phat ass IKEA kitchen table. Their new release, it smells terrible. What do I do??? Wait, I have an idea... FEBREZE!!! My mom gave me some Febreze and she totally raves about it. She says it is the only thing that can make her vagina stop smelling like a horse farm.

Ok, here I go! (SPRAY SPRAY SPRAY!)

Ugh!!!! I sprayed Febreze Extra Strength Odor Eliminator all over the CD and it still smells horrendous!!! Fuck this!!!

Big fuck you to Cobra Starship for ruining my apartment. I think I am going to light my apartment on fire. I am going to watch it burn. Who needs a place to live, anyway? Having a home is overrated. I want to be more punk rock. Real punks don't have a home. I would rather just be homeless and creepy. I would rather just spend my days over at my local library being a creep and reading creepy books. Then, after they kick me out of the library, I would just walk over to my local Apple Store. That is the location where I can log onto the internet and look at p0rn. Looking at pur-no in a public setting is such an UBER turn on. Bill Gates would approve, right? That is why he invented Apple Stores.

P.S. Midtown iz kewl.

I am sooo0o00oo0o0 bored. I think I will take one of those "I'M BORED SURVEY" things. Ok, here I go...

Do you have feelings for the last person you texted?
Yes. It was my mom. I want to fugg her but I am nervous to ask her cuz I think my dad would get mad cuz I am "DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL" or something like that???

When was the last time you were on the phone with the opposite sex for over an hour?
Last night. My best friend was threatening to commit suicide because she lost her iphone and she has noodz on it so she was all upset that her noodz might leak or something?

Say something about the last person you kissed?
I was at a Cobra Starship show and my mom and I kissed with our tongues. It was weird at first but kinda "chill" at the same time. I am just experimenting. I am a teen. Teens experiment right??? I mean, come on, Bill Nye the Science Guy experiments with science? Why can't I experiment with my mom?

Yesterday night, what did you do?
Listened to the latest Cobra Starship cd. That shit is terrible but when you listen to it backwards it sounds SOOOOO ARTSY and I want to be more ARTSY.

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
My mom is at McDonalds getting me a McFlurry. THANKS MOM.

Have your parents ever met anyone famous?
They met the members of Cobra Starship. Gabe iz hot.

What color are your eyes?
I don't have eyes.

If you were kicked out of your current residence, whom would you call?
Probably President Obama.

Do you think relationships are hard?
My dick is hard right now, does that count?? LOL??

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
This survey is boring.

Has anyone lied to you today?
This survey is boring.

If you get a chance to move somewhere, where would you move?
This survey is boring.

When's the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
This survey is boring.

Do you like to cuddle/snuggle?
I like to smoke weed.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
Taco Bell.

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
This survey is boring.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Drive Thru Records is awesome. Love you Richard and Steph!

Have you ever thrown a shoe at someone?
Yes, at George W. Bush. LOL?

Do you currently have any hickeys?
Yes, I am a bad boy.

What's bothering you right now?
I got a paper cut on my clit. OUCH-EEZ!

Do you wear a lot of black?
Hell yeah baby-boi!

Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
Yo this survey sucks. I gotta go now. Bye.

My mom FORGOT to renew my Alternative Press Magazine subscription AGAIN!!!! This is the last straw!!! I am so mad at her!!!! I hate my mom!!! I HATE YOU MOM!!!

UPDATE: My mom said she was sorry to me. I told her that I would only love her and accept her apology if she could get Cobra Starship to play at my sweet 16 party. I want to fuck Gabe Saporta so bad. I want my mom to video tape it. I want to post it on youtube and shit. My mom better get this shit done!!!

If my mom does not make all this happen, I am going to start doing everything I promised her I would never do.

Here is a list of things I promised her I would never do:

1. Smoke w33d.

2. Drink booze/ alcohol/ rubbing alcohol.

3. Swallow animal cum.

4. Steal a car.

5. Smell "stuff" that makes me "dizzy" and "confused."

6. Call 911 and tell them that my name is Big Bird and I live on Sesame Street and I accidentally cut my dick open with a knife/ shank/ whatever.

7. Burn shit with a magnifying glass.

8. Listen to DJ Rossstar's Punk Rock Show.

9. Pick up a dog and throw it.

10. Pull my hair out of my head myself and then tell my teacher that my mom pulled my hair out.

11. Use a Ouija board so I can "talk" to dad.

12. Get a RIP DAD tattoo on my arm.

13. Fuck my ghost dad.

14. Vote Republican.

15. Vote Democrat.

Dear mom, you better make all my dreams come true or I will disappoint you and make you extremely embarrassed. UR A SKANK!

Just got an email earlier. The person is speaking about our Midtown post from a few days ago called "Midtown Music On The Internet?"

I am really confused... Midtown broke up? Lies. Fuckin lies. I hate lies so much. People who spread lies are total assholes. I hate it when people spread dumb rumors about bands breaking up. NOT KEWL DUDE.

But seriously though, can someone give me a ride to the Midtown show next week in the city??? My mom is being a total BITCH HOE SKANK right now and refuses to drive me because she works 2 jobs and says she is too tired. Fuck her. She is poor, NOT MY PROBLEM!!! UGHHHHHHHH.

P.S. Have you heard that new Midtown song yet??? The one called "Snakes On A Plane (Bring It)" and I am calling it right now, it is TOTALLY gonna be the SONG OF THE SUMMER. For realsies.

I am looking for a place where I can buy music online. It is really hard to get music online. I just don't feel like driving to my local record store anymore, gas prices man, TOO HIGH DUDE. I figured it is easier to just get my songs from the internet. Ya know what I mean?

Have you guys ever heard of iTunes? I hear it is a place where I can buy music. Can I search by artist? I am looking for some stuff from the band called Midtown. You guys probably never heard of Midtown. Midtown is going to be huge.

Midtown has a bunch of great songs. Here is a list of Midtown songs you need to download ASAP.

1. Guilty Pleasure
2. The City is at War
3. Guilty Pleasure
4. The City is at War
5. Guilty Pleasure
6. The City is at War

I love punk rock music. Music is my life. Midtown is my life. MTV is my life. Twitter is my life. McDonalds Dollar menu is my life. Costco is my life. Verizon BlackBerry CrackBerry is my life. FuckThatBand.com is my life. FuckThatBand.com is your life. FuckThatBand.com is my present to you. Happy Birthday.

Rumor has it that Cobra Starship have already started work on their follow-up to their latest album called "Viva la Cobra." No word yet as to what the band will be calling their next release, but we are going to take a guess and say it will be called "The Songs We Write Are Just As Bad As The Jokes Carlos Mencia Tells."

Gabe Saporta (ex Midtown, current Cobra Starship) totally reminds me of Vanilla Ice. The two of them also have a great deal in common, they both suck. Ya know?