Ever notice how the Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream company is always making wacky new flavors to "give props" to radical punk rock bands? I love how B and J are so indie and I love how they are constantly giving back to the scene.

Should I start a band called Merchant Ships? Should I wear a Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream shirt so I can S their Deez in hopes of getting a flavor named after my band?

What ice cream flavor should B and J name after Merchant Shippies?

Here is an idea: Screamy Creamy Peanut Butter Apple Sauce Ice Cream Ball Sweat Explosion?

That sounds like a pretty awesome ice cream flavor. Between the music that Merchant Ships makes and the new ice cream flavor, these dudes are gonna be FUCKIN HUGE!!! Total celeb A listers! Fuckin VEE EYE PEE!!! TMZ is going to be all over these hotties!!!!!!!

In other news, we here at FuckThatBand.com are totally used to being chased by TMZ. TMZ reporters are always running after us for interviews and shit since we started this site. We are famous from this website, and everyone in the music industry knows us. We seriously get about 666 emails a day from record labels and bands and managers and PR reps and guitar techs and Burger King managers who want us to review their music. We get hundreds of CDs iTunes download cards every month bc people want us to review their music. WHY? Because we have CRED and INFLUENCE in the SCENE. We get millions of web hits A DAY. We am bigger than Yahoo and Bing and the government COMBINED.

America, you're welcome.

Earth, you're welcome.

Mikey Way Solar System, you're welcome.

Merchant Ships, you're welcome.

In an effort to attract more "metalcore heads" and "dirty dudes" to FuckThatBand.com, we are going to make a post about the top 2 things that "metalcore dudes" enjoy the most:

1. The "sport" called WWE Wrestling
2. The "music" by Every Time I Die

Let's take a moment to blog about the cheesiest wrestler of all time, Jake the Motherfucking Snake Roberts. Jake would bring a live snake out to the ring. When you first saw that you were all like "OH SHIT MAN." And then you thought to yourself "THAT SNAKE IS GOING TO FUCKIN EAT PEOPLE" but once you realized that it never ate anyone, it got real boring, real fast.

Speaking of shit getting really boring really fast, let's talk about Every Time I Die. Put it this way, I would rather have Jake the Snake perform the DDT on me than listen to one second of Every Time I Die. BUT WAIT, THERZ MOAR... I would rather have Jake teh Snake stick his snake up my asshole if it meant I would never have to listen to Every Time I Die again. Just sayin'

In other news, have you heard that new CD by Every Time I Die called "New Junk Aesthetic" or whatever? That shit sounds like an even shittier version of CKY (or cKy or ckY or however you write it). CKY sucks, Bam Margera can suck ma dick. Whatever. zzzz.

For another wrestling related post, CLICK HERE.

Ok, gotta go now and check out LAMBGOAT.COM cuz that site knows about "good" music. LOL. Best site ever. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL.