Dear The Gaslight Anthem,

Arthur Fonzarelli (AKA Fonzie or The Fonz) called me on my celly and he told me to tell your singer to (and I quote) "AAAAAAY TAKE THAT FUCKIN LEATHER JACKET OFF AAAAAAY YOU GUYZ SOUND LIKE SHIT AAAAAY SIT ON IT!!!"

Hey man, don't piss The Fonz off, am I right???

Love,
FuckThatBand.com

I would rather stick my ballz in a mousetrap than listen to The Gaslight Anthem. U MAD?

Do you remember your first time DOING IT? Do you remember when you lost your virginity? How was it? Were you nervous? Please tell me because I am still a virgin and I really need some advice. I would ask my mom but she is never home anymore because she got a new boyfriend and her boyfriend (Steve) doesn't like me. Sucks. He is a douche bag. Miss you mom. Come home soon plz.

Anyways, my one friend told me that it is really important for me to have "meaningful love making music" playing in the background during my first time. When someone mentions "meaningful love making music" - the first band that pops into my head is Slipknot. You might not know who they are yet because they are not popular yet but I recommend them if you are into acoustic "chillin out" shit.

I like Slipknot. They are a grunge band from Seattle, Washington that is heavily influenced by Nirvana. Nirvana is another really young band, they aren't too big yet because they aren't signed to a label but as soon as they get signed, I think they will be big. Not as big as The Gaslight Anthem, but pretty close.

For real though, can I get real for a second? Should I have Slipknot blasting on the stereo while I am losing my virginity? I plan on losing my V card after prom. Would my girlfriend be into "doin it" to the soothing sounds of Slipknot after prom?

Speaking of prom, should I wear a Slipknot mask with my tuxedo? Do you think my girlfriend will wear a Slipknot mask too? We could get matching Slipknot masks. That would be pretty CUTE. Would we win the "cutest couple" award and shit?

Speaking of masks, QUESTION: Which band wears cooler masks?

A: Slipknot
B: Forever the Sickest Kids
C: Hollywood Undead
D: DJ Rossstar

Please email me your answers. K thanx byyyee.