August Burns Dinosaur Sex
posted by H. Lewis on July 3, 2009

I always wanted to start a band and take promo shots that make it look like me and "my boys" were standing on the set of Jurassic Park. Shit! I guess August Burns Red totally beat me to it! Dang yo! H8 you guyz for that!!!
But can we get "real" for a second? Sometimes I have these wet dreams where I am "making sex" to a tyrannosaurus rex or a velociraptor. It is really creepy because I think that most girls my age have "sexy dreams" about making out with boys. Why am I different? Why??? Why can't I just be into boys and not dinosaurs??? What a weird fetish!!! I blame my mom for drinking b00ze while pregnant with me. IT IS ALL HER FAULT!!!
UPDATE: Hay guys! I just got home from a make-out party. It was a pool party too. Do you like pools? Swimming is fun. Did you ever play chicken? I did today. It was fun. I also snorted coke. ANYWAYYYYYYYS, I met this guy wearing an August Burns Red shirt on at the party. I think he might be the one. We were making out, August Burns Red was playing on the stereo, we started kissing/feeling, etc. At first, it was really boring for me because he was obviously HUMAN (and humans don't get me wet). So I took a chance and asked him to act like he was a dinosaur and guess what... HE SAID OKAY!!! He started growling and scratching at me. He cut my face open with his teeth while we kissed. I was bleeding. It was AWESOME!!!!! And then he started to piss all over me. I was kinda unsure about that one move but he assured me that dinosaurs always pissed on their pray.
But can we get "real" for a second? Sometimes I have these wet dreams where I am "making sex" to a tyrannosaurus rex or a velociraptor. It is really creepy because I think that most girls my age have "sexy dreams" about making out with boys. Why am I different? Why??? Why can't I just be into boys and not dinosaurs??? What a weird fetish!!! I blame my mom for drinking b00ze while pregnant with me. IT IS ALL HER FAULT!!!
UPDATE: Hay guys! I just got home from a make-out party. It was a pool party too. Do you like pools? Swimming is fun. Did you ever play chicken? I did today. It was fun. I also snorted coke. ANYWAYYYYYYYS, I met this guy wearing an August Burns Red shirt on at the party. I think he might be the one. We were making out, August Burns Red was playing on the stereo, we started kissing/feeling, etc. At first, it was really boring for me because he was obviously HUMAN (and humans don't get me wet). So I took a chance and asked him to act like he was a dinosaur and guess what... HE SAID OKAY!!! He started growling and scratching at me. He cut my face open with his teeth while we kissed. I was bleeding. It was AWESOME!!!!! And then he started to piss all over me. I was kinda unsure about that one move but he assured me that dinosaurs always pissed on their pray.
Topics: August Burns Red, Solid State Records
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