Dear Surge Soda,

Miss you so much. We haven't talked in years, figured I'd write you a letter to let you know how shit is going.

Ever since you left us, planet Earth has turned to hell, omgz global warming, all the ice is melting, da polar bears are crying hard as hellll. But that news is NOTHING compared to how bad da music "scene" has been since you bounced. We now have bands like The Maine, 3oh!3, Family Force 5, Hit The Lights, and A Rocket To The Moon. Lyke, gag me with a sp00000n. kjdskjfdskjdsj (that wuz me throwing up on my Macbeth shoez)

Are all these shitty bands around because the human race just gave up all hope since Surge Soda left us? Maybe global warming is happening because of all of the shitty music sound waves that are trapped within the earths atmosphere and stuffzzz.

I am scared for 2009. Will Obama save us from da music? Will Obama start a band? Will his self titled 7inch go for 500 euro on ebay? Will his vinyl be limited edition hand numbered from 1 to 69. LOL at 69, obama is so funny for picking the number 69. Obama, you go boy!

In closing, Surge Soda, please get at Obama (send him a TXT message or some shit) and ask him to bring you back, this world needs you and your citrus explosion of flavor. Jus sayin'

Sincerely,
FuckThatBand.com Staff

Yesterday my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I was happy to tell her but before I went on about what I wanted, I felt it was extremely important to tell her exactly what I didn't want. The following is my DO NOT FUCKING BUY ME THIS GARBAGE FOR CHRISTMAS list.

Do not get me any merchandise or CDs from the band Danger Radio. Mom, I would rather listen to you and dad have sex than listen to their music.

Do not get me a fucking Huffy bike. Mom, you are an asshole if you do that. You know that all my friends ride Mongoose Bikes hard as hell, so you best get Mongoose or so help me god.

Do not get me anything from the band 3OH!3. Mom, remember when I said that I would rather listen to you and dad have sex than listen to Danger Radio music? Well, I would rather actually have sex with you and dad than listen to 3OH!3 music.

And last but not least, mom, don't get me an Official SAT Study Guide. I told you before, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE!!! I got it all planned out, I sent my bands demo to Drive Thru Records already. I know they are going to sign us. I mean, come on, they signed Socratic for gods sake. Getting signed cant be THAT hard. I cannot wait to tour as soon as I graduate high school. Junior year SUXXXXXX but I am the co-captain of the JV bowling team so that is pretty chill.

Attention everyone, bust out your Chicago Bulls jerseys and throw your b-ballz in da air, Dennis Rodman has joined The Friday Night Boys!!!1!!! I totally saw them play last night and they sucked real bad but it was still phat as hell to see Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan moshing hard as hell. Them boyz got moves on the dance floor.

Anthony Green's new album "Avalon" is now available everywhere. Avalon can now be purchased at iTunes, Target, Hot Topic, Best Buy, Burger King, and the Photo Finish Records webstore.

The album is awesome if you are into music that sounds like it is being sung by a ghost with a high pitched voice throwing his broken acoustic guitar against an oak tree on fire. Ya know what I mean?

But seriously though, he gots a DVD coming out in the future... jump on it man. The shit is gonna rock harder than the The Office - Season One (jay kayyyy).

But really though, school starts in September so you better click your ass over to this link so you can purchase your very own Macbeth Anthony Green Studio Projects Jackson Shoes. What am I talking about? Anthony Green has his own shoes. No joke. So if you want to be crowned homecoming king this fall at your awesome high school... you best be getting these shoes. Chicks will dig you hard as hell. They be all like "OMG, book the hotel right now for after the prom. I don't give a shit that prom is like 10 months away, since you got Anthony Green shoes I am totally gonna go to the prom with you and then have sex with you after the prom!"