Dear Hayley Williams of Paramore,

"Hangin" with the boys from The Swellers does not make you cool. In fact, it makes you even more uncool than you already are. Those dudes are from Michigan for gods sake! Nothing good comes outta that country. Well, actually, Detroit is pretty cool. It a pretty up and coming location filled with lots of employment and lots of buildings that are not crumbling at all. Detroit - big in 2010, I'm callin' it. Giggle.

But OH HAAAAAY GIRL, you like pizza? Dude, so do I!!! SMALL WORLD!!! What do you like on your pizza? I like pubic hair on my pizza. I rip my pubic hair out and sprinkle it on my pizza. Tastes pretty "indie" if you ask me. You should try it. Oh wait, you are only 5 years old so you don't have pubic hair yet. ZING.

Where did you get that Minor Threat shirt? Whoa! Ian MacKaye LOLZ. Minor Threat sucks. Just sayin. And Hayley, just so you know, please don't think about wear a Bad Brains shirt either because I think I might throw up if you do. Minor Threat is crap, Bad Brains is crap. PUNK IZ DEAD. Washington D.C. never had a "scene" and they never will.

Oh man, all this typing shit talk is making me "hella" thirsty. Should I drink some ZICO Pure Coconut Water? I would rather not, that crap tastes like SHIT. I would rather french kiss a chainsaw then drink that shit. Just sayin. U mad? Pshhhh.

Sincerely,
FuckThatBand.com Staff

Do you like video games? Are video games kewl? Do you PWN your friends in video games? I like video games a great deal because I enjoy staring at a screen for 20+ hours a day pretending to be someone I am not. Is that ok? Hope so.

Should I play this Sonic the Hedgehog video game because it has a guest appearance by Hayley Williams from the hit tween rock group called Paramore?

I wonder if this Sonic game is a 2 player game or just a 1 player game? Not sure why I am wondering though, I don't have anyone to play with me so I hope it is just a 1 player game. I wish I had a friend to play video games with. I mean, I do have a friend. He is a ghost though, so I guess what I am trying to say is... wish I had a friend who wasn't a ghost. Wish I had a friend who was real enough to be touched.

Not touch in a perverted way!!! EWWW U R SICK!!!

But seriously though, video games R kewl. Which is your fav vid game system console? Here is a list of my favz:

- N64
- Leapster
- xbox
- ps3
- Amazon Kindle
- wii
- Snuggie Book Light
- Burger King Kids Meal
- Game Boy Advance
- Dream Cast
- Atari
- CD Walkman

Do video games rot ur brain? I am thinking about turning this site into a video game blog. Yes/ No/ Maybe? Let me know. Email me your fav video game so I can blog about it.

Oh hai! What is going on? Oh, just the usual, Alex from All Time Low is just chillin' with Hayley from Paramore. Such a cute couple. Are they dating? I don't know. If anyone knows, please email me.

Ok, I gotta go now, I need to get ready for my garage sale I am having. I am going to sell all my old Hurley shirts to TRENDY n00bz so I can get $$$ to buy some To Write Love On Her Arms shirts. Fuck ya. So, if you are a trendy shit head (and I know you are), come on over to my garage sale tomorrow morning.

P.S. I am also gonna be selling all of my old Busted Tees shirts cuz I just realized that funny/ cool/ retro/ vintage/ tees are just "not scene" anymore. I hope Jake/ Amir/ da college humor crew don't hate me.

The singer of Paramore looks like a dog. Woof! UR WOOFIN'

The singer of Paramore looks like a cat. Meow! UR MEOWIN'

Who do you think has a bigger wang monster? Ronald McDonald or Hayley Williams from the band Paramore? I am going to take a guess and say that Hayley probably has a longer wang monster but Ronald probably has a thicker wang monster. JUST SAYING.

But come on, let's get real for a moment. Who's wang monster would you rather suck? Ronald McDonald's wang monster or Hayley's wang monster? HARD QUESTION, I KNOW!!! I don't know about you, but I would rather swallow Ronald's jizz cuz it probably tastes like a McFlurry and Hayley's jizz probably tastes just as bad as the latest Paramore release. DO NOT WANT HAYLEY'S JIZZ!!!!!!! JUST SAYING.

This is a message to Paramore, I really hope they read this blog because I have a bone to pick with them! I want my fuckin money back! This green CD that I got from you guys does NOT fit into my CD PLAYER at home! WTF!!! What gives?!?!?!?! This CD is WAY TOO BIG!!! Thanks for ripping me off. H8 you guys so0o0o much for doing this too me!!! @$$HOLES!!!!!

Who the fuck is No Doubt and why do I care they are doing a reunion tour??? Is this supposed to be a big deal??? OOOOO wait, I never knew that the singer of No Doubt was a girl??? That's kinda cool. There aren't a lot of girl singers out there these dayzzzz.

Oh sweet, I just heard that No Doubt is doing a tour with Paramore (also a gurl singer) and The Sounds (yet another gurl singer). A whole tour with all girl singers?!/1??! COWABUNGA DUDE!!! Maybe I can SCORE some sic puss puss???!!! I gotta make sure to rock the AXE BODY SPRAY hard as hell wink wink nudge nuge (hayyyy layyyy deeeez).

But seriously though, wtf, how come Chiodos isn't on the No Doubt reunion tour? The singer of Chiodos, she must be so0o0o0o pissed off. Chiodos is bigger than all those bands COMBINED!!!! I am so pissed right now.

Wouldn't it be cool if FuckThatBand.com got a chance to put together our VERY OWN WORLD TOUR??? I would TOTALLY sell all three of my kidneys to make that happen. We would name it the GIRL POWER WORLD TOUR EXTRAVAGANZA and it would have the following girl fronted bands on the bill: Paramore, Versa Emerge, Chiodos, Katy Perry, Rilo Kiley, and Ace of Base.

Hey, what can I say, I iz a sucker for them girl vocals.

OMG! Late breaking news! Hayley Williams from the band Paramore has dyed her hair rainbow colors! She is looking hotter than ever with the new dye job. WOULD.

Dear Hayley Williams of Paramore,

Why do you think those boys want to be in a band with you? Do you think these dudes just stay in the band because maybe they think that they'll get some action from you? Do they just stay in the band because they think that you are Jeffree Star? You should be honest with them and let them know that you are not Jeffree Star. You need to let them know who you really are. You are Hayley Williams.

But really though, I think the boys in your band might want to BOINK you. They sacrifice their dignity and musical talent for a chance at some play. It's cool yo, I'd do the same thing. In fact, one time I straight up joined a church just to get with a nun. It never happened tho, she was a total cocktease. But she was chill as hell, she hooked me up with a 25 dollar iTunes gift card for my Bday. God bless her, and iTunes. Na mean? WWJSD? What would Jeffree Star do??? Shit ya man!

Sincerely,
FuckThatBand.com Staff

P.S. Did you miss the other 3 Paramore posts we did? You did?! Shit. Well, look HERE, HERE, and HERE. Ok? Ok.

ParaMORE? More like ParaLESS, am I right????? No??@?@!??!?! Fuck, is what I just typed not funny?>>!!?? Is that possible??? Shit. Sorry. It's just that I've been studying so hard with all my college finals and shit. I feel pretty delusional right now. Pullin all nighters, drinking da red bulls, takin da adderall (shhh don't tell mom), eating tons of Mac N Cheese, etc etc.

The only thing getting me through these finals is the chill ass MIX TAPE (cdr) that I made from my iTunes. I call it the FINALS SUCK @$$ MIX CD. Here is the track list (in case you wanna make your own): 1. Misery Business by Paramore. 2. Misery Business by Paramore. 3. Misery Business by Paramore. 4. Misery Business by Paramore. 5. Misery Business by Paramore.

I play the CD on repeat. I listen over and over. I blast it real loud. My RA is getting pissed off. Quiet hours in the dorm for finals is so lame. Why doesn't this school understand my need to listen to Paramore at 4am? Why. I thought this was America. I cant wait until OBAMA is officially in office, he will change this country. I hope he changes the name of this country. It should be called United States of Paramore. Or the United States of Hayley Williams? Or maybe the United States of the Singer of Paramore Still Looks Like Jeffree Star. Jus' sayin.

P.S. Did you miss our other posts about Hayley lookin' like Jeffree?? Look HERE and HERE son.

Once again, we still think that the singer of Paramore looks exactly like Jeffree Star. Did you miss the first post we did about this? CLICK HERE TO SEE IT.

The singer of Paramore looks exactly like Jeffree Star. Just sayin'