Paramore Swellers Pizza Party
posted by L. Greggo on November 1, 2009

Dear Hayley Williams of Paramore,
"Hangin" with the boys from The Swellers does not make you cool. In fact, it makes you even more uncool than you already are. Those dudes are from Michigan for gods sake! Nothing good comes outta that country. Well, actually, Detroit is pretty cool. It a pretty up and coming location filled with lots of employment and lots of buildings that are not crumbling at all. Detroit - big in 2010, I'm callin' it. Giggle.
But OH HAAAAAY GIRL, you like pizza? Dude, so do I!!! SMALL WORLD!!! What do you like on your pizza? I like pubic hair on my pizza. I rip my pubic hair out and sprinkle it on my pizza. Tastes pretty "indie" if you ask me. You should try it. Oh wait, you are only 5 years old so you don't have pubic hair yet. ZING.
Where did you get that Minor Threat shirt? Whoa! Ian MacKaye LOLZ. Minor Threat sucks. Just sayin. And Hayley, just so you know, please don't think about wear a Bad Brains shirt either because I think I might throw up if you do. Minor Threat is crap, Bad Brains is crap. PUNK IZ DEAD. Washington D.C. never had a "scene" and they never will.
Oh man, all this typing shit talk is making me "hella" thirsty. Should I drink some ZICO Pure Coconut Water? I would rather not, that crap tastes like SHIT. I would rather french kiss a chainsaw then drink that shit. Just sayin. U mad? Pshhhh.
Sincerely,
FuckThatBand.com Staff
"Hangin" with the boys from The Swellers does not make you cool. In fact, it makes you even more uncool than you already are. Those dudes are from Michigan for gods sake! Nothing good comes outta that country. Well, actually, Detroit is pretty cool. It a pretty up and coming location filled with lots of employment and lots of buildings that are not crumbling at all. Detroit - big in 2010, I'm callin' it. Giggle.
But OH HAAAAAY GIRL, you like pizza? Dude, so do I!!! SMALL WORLD!!! What do you like on your pizza? I like pubic hair on my pizza. I rip my pubic hair out and sprinkle it on my pizza. Tastes pretty "indie" if you ask me. You should try it. Oh wait, you are only 5 years old so you don't have pubic hair yet. ZING.
Where did you get that Minor Threat shirt? Whoa! Ian MacKaye LOLZ. Minor Threat sucks. Just sayin. And Hayley, just so you know, please don't think about wear a Bad Brains shirt either because I think I might throw up if you do. Minor Threat is crap, Bad Brains is crap. PUNK IZ DEAD. Washington D.C. never had a "scene" and they never will.
Oh man, all this typing shit talk is making me "hella" thirsty. Should I drink some ZICO Pure Coconut Water? I would rather not, that crap tastes like SHIT. I would rather french kiss a chainsaw then drink that shit. Just sayin. U mad? Pshhhh.
Sincerely,
FuckThatBand.com Staff
Topics: Paramore, Fueled By Ramen Records, The Swellers, Search and Rescue Records, Minor Threat, Bad Brains
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