Damn, guys. I just discovered something astounding. It's a band... FROM CANADA. Apparently they make music with real electric guitars and real electric basses. The fact that Canada even has access to electricity is news to me.

The band is called Ten Second Epic. Shall we chat about them? SURE! Why not?

Some bro wearing an Iron Maiden shirt? Insert LOL text here.

Some bro blowing bubbles? Insert LOL text here.

Some bro wearing a wolf shirt? Insert LOL text here.

Some bro who looks like Pikachu? Insert LOL text here.

I love joke bands. Wait, they aren't a joke band? Oooooof! That hurts.

It hurts almost as much as when I pee, but when hasn't it hurt, right? Peeing is supposed to hurt/burn, it's like an unwritten rule! It also burns when I stretch, throw a football, or yawn. Or if I get up really fast or sit down too hard. It hurts when I pee, and I pee whenever I'm hurt. I am pretty sure all my problems are somehow related to the music Ten Second Epic makes.

Ten Second Epic? More like Ten Second Joke! Oooooof! That hurts.

Damn, I think if alternative music blogging doesn't work out as a career for me, I am going to be an anthropologist that specializes in foreign bands. Maybe I could even study abroad for a semester and follow Ten Second Epic around the wilds of Canada. Damn, that would seriously be crazy. Better start stocking up on Yellow Fever/ H1N1/ Malaria/ Chicken PoxXx vaccines asapz. And earplugs too, because any punk rawk that is not made in the US of A is automatic shit.

U S A! U S A!