3OH3 Varisty Jackets Rule!
posted by T. Hill on October 13, 2009
Do you get invited to parties every fucking night like I do? If the answer is yes, then you NEED to read this blog that I am writing. I wrote it JUST FOR YOU (you're welcome).
Chances are, the party you are going to is going to SUCK DICK so it will be your job to turn it into a KEWL PARTY that is worth blogging about.
Step 1: CLOTHING! Here is the deal, your cracka ass is gonna get tagged on facebook whether you like it or not. With that being said, you better be rockin some CHILL ASS THREADS! Here is what you need to wear. Roll up in a phat ass 3OH3 varsity jacket. When it gets too hot to rock the jacket, take that shit off and show off your Ed Hardy tee. Don't have an Ed Hardy tee? It is totally ok, a UFC shirt will do just fine.
Step 2: MUSIC! Have you ever heard of BYOB (bring your own b33r)? Well, whatever party you attend you need to remember BYOM (bring your own music). With that being said, the only music you should listen to is 3OH3 because those jams are original and fresh and funky and if you don't listen to them then you are totes LAME SAUCE!!! Bring your 3OH3 cd with you! So, as soon as you get to the party, march over to the dude with the biggest muscles and demand he plays your 3OH3 cd and then punch him in square the face. Don't worry about him trying to fight you after the punch, once he sees you in that 3OH3 varsity jacket... he will respect you and prob give you aFrench kiss or tug job or a high five at the very least!
Step 3: PICK UP LINES! You want to fuck a girl (or guy) tonight? Sure you do. All you need to do is walk up to a fat bitch and spit her some romantic poetry. Here is the best line to use:
"Shush girl shut your lips, do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips."
She will most likely share her drugs with you (ecstasy) and ride your junk right in the middle of the dance floor. Sex on x? Mission accomplished, bro-seph!
In other news, I wanted to sincerely thank 3OH3 for their music. They are the best in the world. I hope they just keep getting bigger and bigger. I hope they go on tour with Bruce Springsteen or Bon Jovi (insert livin' on a prayer lolz).
In other OTHER news, who do you think is the best band in NJ HISTORY? Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, The Years Gone By or The Mongoloids? Hmmm. That is a hard one. Get at us via Twitter (@fuckthatband) and fuckin' tell us!!!!
Chances are, the party you are going to is going to SUCK DICK so it will be your job to turn it into a KEWL PARTY that is worth blogging about.
Step 1: CLOTHING! Here is the deal, your cracka ass is gonna get tagged on facebook whether you like it or not. With that being said, you better be rockin some CHILL ASS THREADS! Here is what you need to wear. Roll up in a phat ass 3OH3 varsity jacket. When it gets too hot to rock the jacket, take that shit off and show off your Ed Hardy tee. Don't have an Ed Hardy tee? It is totally ok, a UFC shirt will do just fine.
Step 2: MUSIC! Have you ever heard of BYOB (bring your own b33r)? Well, whatever party you attend you need to remember BYOM (bring your own music). With that being said, the only music you should listen to is 3OH3 because those jams are original and fresh and funky and if you don't listen to them then you are totes LAME SAUCE!!! Bring your 3OH3 cd with you! So, as soon as you get to the party, march over to the dude with the biggest muscles and demand he plays your 3OH3 cd and then punch him in square the face. Don't worry about him trying to fight you after the punch, once he sees you in that 3OH3 varsity jacket... he will respect you and prob give you a
Step 3: PICK UP LINES! You want to fuck a girl (or guy) tonight? Sure you do. All you need to do is walk up to a fat bitch and spit her some romantic poetry. Here is the best line to use:
"Shush girl shut your lips, do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips."
She will most likely share her drugs with you (ecstasy) and ride your junk right in the middle of the dance floor. Sex on x? Mission accomplished, bro-seph!
In other news, I wanted to sincerely thank 3OH3 for their music. They are the best in the world. I hope they just keep getting bigger and bigger. I hope they go on tour with Bruce Springsteen or Bon Jovi (insert livin' on a prayer lolz).
In other OTHER news, who do you think is the best band in NJ HISTORY? Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, The Years Gone By or The Mongoloids? Hmmm. That is a hard one. Get at us via Twitter (@fuckthatband) and fuckin' tell us!!!!
Topics: 3OH3, Photo Finish Records, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, The Years Gone By, Rise Records, The Mongoloids, Eulogy Records
Disclaimer: Always remember that any publicity is good publicity.
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