Lydia! OMG! Six people in ONE BAND??? You guys (and girl) are so fuckin edgy. Most of my fav bandz are quartets (4 people) but you guys decided to think outside the box and create a sextet (6 people).

Wait... SEXTET?! Whoa... Did you say SEX? What exactly is a SEXTET?

I am glad you asked. A "SEXTET" is a band that creates noise that usually belongs as background music during really creepy pornography. Not sure if your fav p0rno is concidered creepy? Here is a list of stuff that needs to be in your porno for your porno to be uber creepy:

*vampires having sex with nuns

*robots having sex with dogs

*people throwing up on each other

*people shitting in their partners mouth

*people drinking pee/blood

*people who dress up like characters from Harry Potter

*dudes who shove golf balls up their pee hole

etc etc etc

Ok, I kinda forgot what we were talking about. Oh yea, I was telling you about SEXTETS. Let me continue...

SEXTETS don't play in normal music venues like Virgin Megastores (oh wait, RIP!), I mean in normal music venues like Linens 'n Things (oh wait, RIP!), I mean in normal music venues like Blockbuster Video (RIP, well, B-Buster isn't dead yet but come on, no one fuckin goes there anymore cuz NetFlix iz all da mosh). Instead SEXTETS play live sets in Adult Video Stores, Adult Toy Stores, and Gentleman's Clubs.

Speaking of Gentleman's Clubs, I heard that Lydia is playing a show at this really chill Gentleman's Club down the street from me. The place is called The Booby Palace. If you are in Lydia, please contact me asap, I need to know what time your set is. Also, if you dudes need a place to crash after the show, my mom says you can crash here. My mom will also get us bagels and orange juice for breakfast. She works at Dunkin Donuts and she gets all the free bagels she wants.

My mom is really good at getting free shit. She got me the latest Lydia release for free off da internet (lol it-leaked lol). Oh, also, this one time she once got me a free HDTV!!! All she had to do was let a dude snort some blow off her b00bs and then he gave her the HDTV. I think it was stolen but whatever.

I videotaped the dude snorting da shit off my mom with my chill as FLIP HD. Awesome footy I got. Mom wants me to edit the footy and turn it into a chill as .MOV file with my Final Cut Pro via Mac Book Power Book. I think I will edit it tonight. Should I add a Lydia mp3 to the background? I think I should. I think that would really make the video even more awkward/ edgy/ artsy/ orgasmic/ etc. Agree or disagree?