Yo guys! Great news!!! The Secret Handshake is coming out with a new album. It is going to be called "My Name Up in Lights" and it is coming out April 21st, 2009. Make sure you visit all your favorite punk rock online retail stores (FartPunk and InterJunk) to buy this CD. Or you can go to Burger King and ask the cashier for the CD. I heard Burger King will be selling this shit. Fuck ya man! Throw that CD in my 10 dollar Oreo Milkshake mannn! Drink that shit up baby boy!!!

But for real, what will this new Secret Handshake release sound like, you ask? I am 100 percent positive that it will sound something like the noises that Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy would make if they were having sex.

Music by The Secret Handshake = really disturbing and extremely unnecessary.

But for reals though, does anyone know where I can see some Kermit the Frog / Miss Piggy p0rn??? I love me some Kermit / Piggy purr-no. I kinda feel like getting ma jerk off. We all need a day off to J off. Hell, I need a week off to get my freak off! Does that make me creepy? Do you want to get creepy with me???

Wow, wait a second! This is actually a pretty awkward post. I hope my mom doesn't read my blog. I hope my dad doesn't read my blog. I hope my Christian Youth Pastor doesn't read my blog. I hope my Rabbi (RAH-bye) doesn't read my blog; he would probably cancel my bar mitzvah. Fuck. I hate life. I hate punk rock. Punk rock ruined my life. Punk rock is the down fall of this country. LOL? Yes, LOL!