Winter is here. It is time for me to get my "extreme winter sport" boner on till da break of dawn. Should I try snowboarding this season or should I just man the fuck up and try out "punk rawk" ice skating instead. I want to be KEWL this season and it seems that all da kewl punk rawkers are ice skating these days. Here is an example of what I am yacking about: a famous paparazzi person caught a candid pic of the boys in Polar Bear Club ice skating almost as bad as they play music. I really hope that after their ice skating mosh pit sesh, they head over to band practice and accidentally spill hot chocolate all over their musical instruments. Maybe their jams would sound better if they had broken guitars?

But for real though, I'm not sure if I want to start ice skating or not. Will my boner get frost bite on it? Will the blade of my ice skates "accidentally" cut my wrists cuz im so EMO? Will my lips be too chapped to sing along to all my fav Katy Perry songs? Should I just man the fuck up and lick my lips whenever they get chapped? Should I just use the whole "licking my lips thing" as a substitute for regular chapstick? That doesn't make your lips feel like shit, does it?

If someone from Polar Bear Club is reading this blog, please email me and let me know what is the best thing to put on my lips when they get chapped. Blistex? Jizz? Cocaine? Ecto Cooler? Dr. Pepper? Mr. Pibb? Bong water?