Would I like a hot coffee? Sure! You bet! Please throw that steaming coffee right into my face/eyes because I would rather have that than listen to one second of Deas Vail (not sure how to even pronounce that band name).

Deas Vail, this band is sooooo fucking boring. Maybe if I decided to drink 100 cups of joe, the "coffee buzz" would kick in, thus making the music of Des Vail a bit more exciting? I just don't know, d00dz.

Seriously though, if these "rock and rollers" love coffee this much, here is a helpful tip... please go work at Dunkin Donuts (America Runz On Dunkinz). I am sure you will make more money as a part-time cashier over there than as a full-time Deas Vail band member.

Burn? Yes burn!

Coffee burn? Yes coffee burn!

Speaking of coffee, I just went to Urban Outfitters with my sister and I got a totally cute coffee colored brown shirt. I also got a cute green one. And one is this adorable grey shirt/dress. I think it could pull off as a dress, but my sister told me that my ass/dick was hanging out and I am disillusional. What does she know? SHE IS A SLUT AND I H8 HER 4E!!!!!! UGHHHH

Does anyone know where I can purchase Shape-Ups? I went to my local Urban Outfitterz and they said they were all sold out of Shape-Ups. :-( All they had was trendy as fuck Vans sneakers. Vans are too fuckin mainstream for me. I need something that makes me feel like an individual. I need something that will help me identify with my punk rock community. Vans are not punk rock, Shape-Ups are.

In other news, I would rather wear Shape-Ups than listen to Man Overboard. Did you ever listen to Man Overboard? They tewtewlly rewl.

I wonder what kinds of shoes the members or Man Overboard wear? Do you think they wear Airwalks? LA Lights? Keds? Converse? Trojan Condom wrappers? Tin foil? Man Overboard, plz let us know via the twitterz what shoes you guyz wear @fuckthatband.

Ever notice how the Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream company is always making wacky new flavors to "give props" to radical punk rock bands? I love how B and J are so indie and I love how they are constantly giving back to the scene.

Should I start a band called Merchant Ships? Should I wear a Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream shirt so I can S their Deez in hopes of getting a flavor named after my band?

What ice cream flavor should B and J name after Merchant Shippies?

Here is an idea: Screamy Creamy Peanut Butter Apple Sauce Ice Cream Ball Sweat Explosion?

That sounds like a pretty awesome ice cream flavor. Between the music that Merchant Ships makes and the new ice cream flavor, these dudes are gonna be FUCKIN HUGE!!! Total celeb A listers! Fuckin VEE EYE PEE!!! TMZ is going to be all over these hotties!!!!!!!

In other news, we here at FuckThatBand.com are totally used to being chased by TMZ. TMZ reporters are always running after us for interviews and shit since we started this site. We are famous from this website, and everyone in the music industry knows us. We seriously get about 666 emails a day from record labels and bands and managers and PR reps and guitar techs and Burger King managers who want us to review their music. We get hundreds of CDs iTunes download cards every month bc people want us to review their music. WHY? Because we have CRED and INFLUENCE in the SCENE. We get millions of web hits A DAY. We am bigger than Yahoo and Bing and the government COMBINED.

America, you're welcome.

Earth, you're welcome.

Mikey Way Solar System, you're welcome.

Merchant Ships, you're welcome.

This is a post about clothing. Do you wear clothing or do you just walk around and let your roast beef flop all around?

As much as I would love to just walk around and let my roast beef flop all around, I think I would get cold. With that being said, what better way to stay warm than to wear a hoodie!

Should I "support" my "boys" in Title Fight and purchase a Title Fight hoodie? Should my best friend also purchase the same exact fucking hoodie as me and wear it on the same day that I wear it? Should my best friend and I start a band called Basement and make music that sounds exactly like Title Fight? Should I make sure that my best friend and I wear our matching Title Fight hoodies during our next band promo pic?

So many questions in life, I am not sure if "living" life with all these unanswered "questions" is really worth it. I feel so sad. Clothing makes me sad.

In other clothing related news, what does it mean when my shirt's tag says "do not machine wash or tumble dry?" Is the tag just being sarcastic? Is it ok to wash it in my washing machine? Or maybe I should just never wash it just to be safe? Fuck. What would the band Basement do in this situation? If you guys are reading this post, please let me know what I should do. Wash or not?

In closing, there are 2 things in life you always need to remember:

1. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty! You can wear your pants FOREVER.

2. The music that Basement makes is original as hell. It doesn't sound anything like Title Fight at all. Not one bit. Not at all. Nope. Not one smidge. No similarities at all. None. Zip. Zero.

Hi. Have you ever seen Encino Man? It was some 90s movie. That one dude in A Phoenix Forever kinda looks like Pauly Shore. Wait, maybe that really is Pauly Shore. It would makes sense that he is in the band called A Phoenix Forever because Pauly loves to do shitty movies, and now, apparently, he loves to be in shitty bands. NICE JOB!

In other news, A Phoenix Forever isn't really all that bad. In fact, I really love their one song called "lisztomania." Pretty fuckin catchy shit guys! KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK!

Ok, gotta go now cuz I gotz a HOT date with a guy tonight. I am kinda confused though cuz he told me he liked me yesterday but then today he told me he wanted to be just friends. WTF. Just friends???? Nahh lets be more! I think he likes this other chick. I AM MAD. UGH.

We here at FuckThatBand.com love to eat two things: babies and tacos. Babies are chewy and tacos are spicy. Chewy + spicy = sex. Confirm/deny? We are waiting for the day that some scientist invents a new food called "baby taco." Could it be done? Sure it can! Put it this way, if the band called Murdock could have more than 5 fans than ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

Have you ever listened to Murdock? That shit is painful. Almost as painful as when I wear a thong. I hate the way that the g-string irritates my a-hole AND it is almost impossible for me to fit my 12 inch dick into a thong. UGH! What is a girl to do?!?!?!

In other news, I am hungry, are you a scientist? Do you know a scientist? Can you find us some email addresses of various scientists? We want to ask them if they are making any progress with creating the food called "taco baby." We also want to ask them if they are interested in conducting research on today's youth and WHY THE HELL THEY LISTEN TO MURDOCK! Kidz R so0oo0o KRAY-ZEE!!

P.S. I am thinking about getting a Murdock tattoo on my lower back. Older guyz love lower back tattoos. I love older guyz. I am not attracted to boys my age. I'm mature for my age and get along with older guys. It's a lot more convenient to date a guy with a car and a job. I've been dating older guys since I started dating. Fuck you mom. Fuck you dad. I can do what I want. I am straight edge and you can't control a straight edger!!!1!

I love farts. They smell the best when I am in the shower. Do you like farts as much as I do? YOU DO?!??!! GREAT!!!

Do you like the way a fart sounds? I do. That is probably why I listen to the band called Futures. They totally sound like farts and I love it!!!

Did you ever wonder why farts make noise? It is because the sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus.

All this talk about farts makes me want to go listen to Futures. You really should listen to them, I think you will love them. If you like the sound of an anal opening vibrating, you will love Futures! GET INTO THEM!!!!

P.S. Planet Hollywood iz awesome! Wish I had a Planet Hollywood shirt.