Remember when FuckThatBand.com was full of LOLZ? Well, those days are over and long gone. It is time to get "serious" and shit. We are going to focus less on "music" and more on "dreams" because a fortune cookie once told me that "A man's dreams are an index to his greatness." I am not really sure what the fuck that means but I do know that fortune cookies don't lie. Right?

I had a dream last night. Claudio Sanchez (the singer of Coheed and Cambria) was playing live in my room. That in-itself was enough to make this a nightmare because I cannot stand Coheed and Cambria, but it is what happens next in my dream that made me shit my pants (and then eat my own shit, don't hate me because I like the way it tastes)... Claudio accidentally spilled some water on him and he turned into one of those GREMLINS from that 80s movie called GREMLINS.

Is there any truth to this dream? Is Claudio Sanchez a gremlin? He sure does look like a gremlin-mogwai-whatever thing. What happens if you pour water on Claudio?!?!?! Fuck. I am so scared. I am so scared that I want to scream. Scream loud, scream Sayonara, oh, oh, oh! Sweet Josephine, will you follow me home?

In other news, did you hear the one about Claudio Sanchez lookin' like some asshole in X-Men? No? CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT IT. Cool? Cool!

In closing, what was your scariest dream ever? Let us know and we will do our best to dissect it for you via our twitter account @fuckthatband.

Did you ever dream of a clown eating you? Did you ever dream about zombies jerking off all over you while you slept and then some of da jizz got into ur mouf and then you turned into a zombie? How about being buried alive? If I was ever put into a coffin and placed 6ft in a grave and running out of air... I would totes just start masturbating... Look, you know you're not going to break out of the coffin so you might as well just get in a little auto-asphyxia up in that bitch. Ya feel me????

Hey guys, I'm really sweaty 'cause I just got back from my track meet. I officially broke all of Northface High's sprinting records, and I pretty much have a full ride to any college or university I want to go to. I'm leaning towards University of Phoenix, but only if they have co-ed dorms.

I'm supposed to have good sportsmanship on the track, but this is my blog and I can say whatever I want so here it goes. I totally fucked up the other team today. They were from Lands End High but call their team Runner Runner. First of all, who names a track team? Second of all, that is the dumbest fucking name for a track team I have ever heard. Way to be so obvious about what you do. Or in their case, ATTEMPT to do... hahahahahahaha lol! Lol! Lol! Lol! Lol! Lol! Lol! Lol! Lol! Lol! Lol!

These guys were SO weird. They dress up in neon outfits, knee socks and sweatbands and take pictures with each other. They made a Myspace page to post these pictures for all 10 of their "fans" (14-year-old girls will be fans of anything these days). They all have Twitters and they post stupid non-running-related things on it all day long. They call practice "rehearsal" and refer to all of their meets as "shows." They even wrote a bunch of lame-ass songs about chasing after girls. They don't mention one thing about passing batons, hurdling, or crossing the finish line. Who the fuck ARE these guys and WHY ARE THEY MAKING A MOCKERY OF THE HIGH SCHOOL TRACK WORLD?

I HAVE SERIOUSLY GIVEN UP EVERYTHING TO BECOME A TRACK STAR. I HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING BUT LUNA BARS AND GATORADE FOR 17 WEEKS AND I HAVE NEVER EVEN KISSED A GIRL UNDER THE BLEACHERS. TO HAVE THESE DICKWADS MAKE A MOCKERY OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL TRACK AND FIELD SPORTS IS JUST SO FUCKED UP, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!

If you want to be a fucking band, just be a fucking band! Call yourselves Musician Musician and get on with it.

I am so fucking pissed because right now I am sitting in detention and I'm missing Steven's Untitled Rock Show on Fuse (too soon?????? LOLOLOL). But for real though, screw you, Mrs. D! I skipped your AP History class because the history is the PAST and we are in the PRESENT and everything that happened before 1996, when I was born, doesn't have anything to do with ME and MY LIFE. And I already know everything that has happened since '96 because I lived it. So seriously why don't you try to live in the moment a little, OLDIE. MRS. D IS OLD. ALL TEACHERS ARE OLD!!! TEACHERS SUCK!!!!!!1!!!! Ammi rite? Yah, I iz. Students rule, teachers drool, NUFF SAID!!!

Man, as if detention didn't suck as is, I'm sitting next to these seniors who started this shitty band called American Diary. I'll take a picture of them for you on my iGoogle Windows Vista Phone. Um, do they think it's 2003? Blue hair? Glue-hawk? Gauged ears? Nose ring? Yawn. And what's up with the tag-a-long Hollister model Jesus freak? Brah, didn't you get the memo? Today is "wacky zany hair day" in skewl and you just dropped the ball! (Oh, you couldn't do your hair crazy because you have a JV soccer/lax game today after school? Oh, ok, I totally understand now. Sports r00L.)

I just asked blue 'do if I could hear some of his music. I might as well get my lol on while detained. He actually handed me A CD! HAHAHAHA! No one plays those shiny round things any more. Doesn't he know that I get iTunes on my B-Berry (Blackberry for all you n00bs)? Looooser.

Yo, I just went to their Myspace.com page. They sound EXACTLY how I thought they'd sound. SHIT THAT I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE LISTENED TO 6 YEARS AGO.

But seriously, get into these guys. They are gonna be huge! SO HUGE! I am talking Black Eyed Peas huge. I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good, GOOD night.

P.S. Go out and smash it (Smash it)! Like oh my God!

Wowzers, it has been a long time since we here at FuckThatBand.com blogged about some shit. So sorry! We have been really busy working at various awesome stores like wet seal, forever 21, heritage, target, payless, american eagle, mcdonalds, etc. Why are we all working? It is because we are saving for college. We started FuckThatBand.com as a way to earn $$$ for college but with the constant increase in college tuition (and the recession), this site isn't making the cut anymore so we felt that we needed to enter corporate America for some financial help (p.s. the discounts are SICK at forever21! 40% off??? I'LL TAKE IT, BABY!!! O-FACE!!!)

Speaking of college, I am thinking about applying to schools in NYC. Rumor has it that it is a "chill" place and shit. Don't believe me? Check out this picture of the rock stars known as A Wilhelm Scream partying in Manhattan (or Brooklyn). They look like they are having fun. I am so jeals of them. I think they are on their way to some uber kew bar in NYC called Angelz and Kingz or some shit. UR DRINKIN!

Wait. You don't know who A Wilhelm Scream are? Well you heard it here first; they are a brand new band that just formed a few days ago. They make music that kinda sounds like Third Eye Blind (I wish you would step up off that ledge my friendster) meets U2 (Bono iz hot, the edge is hot too - I like his hats). Anyways, I am calling it right now; A Wilhelm Scream is going to be the breakout artist of 2010. They are def the best new band of the year. These guys have only been a band for a few hours but I know they will impact "the scene" this year and at least 100 more years to cum/come. I wonder when their first CD will be released? I hope soon.

EDIT: We have gotten a ton of emails about this post. Apparently, A Wilhelm Scream are not in NYC in that picture above??? Apparently, it is Australia?... Australia? More like... WHEREstralia! My guess is that A Wilhelm Scream was booted from the hemisphere by Obama, who pretty much runs the upper half of the earth. A Wilhelm Scream are now probably permanent citizens of Australia, mostly because Australians are funny-talking alcoholic white people and kangaroos who think that A Wilhelm Scream's music sounds like beautiful opera music. You see, RAAAAAAAAAH translates to OOOOOOOOoooooo in Australian. So now they're the permanent opening act for all operas at The Sydney Opera House.

Ok, gotta go log onto chatroulette now because seeing dudes jerk off on webcamz is so0o0o0 indie. FTW

P.S. Smackin' Isaiah r00lz.

P.S.S. Smackin' who? lol

Do you think that comedian Margaret Cho is teh funniez? If you are a Margaret Cho fan, guess what... she apparently (from the looks of things) joined a band called Select Start.

Seriously, Select Start combined with Margaret Cho, they are going to reinvent the "scene" as we know it. I mean it. And by golly, do we ever need this "scene" to be reinvented. Select Start is well on their way to r00L the world.

I hate people that are all like "Select Start? How about Select END?" Do you know what I call people that say that? I call them HAY-TERS! How can you possibly hate a band with Margaret Cho in it????? Impossible.

In other news, as if Select Start wasn't cool enough from the get-go, we just realized that Jerrod Landon Porter did the layout of the band's myspace page!!1!! HOLY SHIT HIS DESIGN SKILLZ ARE DOPE AS SHIT! JLP, if you are reading this post (and I know you are, don't lie), can you please do the layout of the FuckThatBand Friendster page or the FuckThatBand MuxTape page? That would fuggin r00L. R00L almost as much as Select Start's music. Insert LOL here? Mkay.

P.S. Ask us questions at formspring.me/FuckThatBand

P.S.S. Just kidding about the formspring thing, losers.

Dear Cap'n Crunch,

You are a fuck face. Go fuck yourself. Crunch berries taste like shit. Why would anyone possibly want that OOPS! ALL BERRIES cereal?

The only people who probably eat that cereal are people who listen to Between The Trees. Just sayin'

Hey have you heard of the band called Between The Trees? If your answer is no, let me ask you this... have you ever listened to that band called Coldplay? I am sure you have. Bitch, don't act like you never heard Coldplay before. Their music is playing in the background of every Grey's Anatomy episode (in other news: would fuck Dr. McSteamy, no homo... or maybe homo... i don't even fuckin' know anymore, kjasdjkldasjklasd). Between The Trees sound like Coldplay. MOSH ON! Coldplay brings the mosh and the windmills. FTW!

Anyways... less talk about Coldplay and more talk about Between The Trees. I don't like Buh Teen Da Tweez. My mom doesn't listen to them either. Why? It is because my mom and I have good taste in music. The music that Between The Trees create is horrid and leaves a nasty ass taste all up in yo mouf (even nastier than dad's jizz). In fact, if you could turn the music of Between Da Cheese into a breakfast cereal, you would surely get Cap'n Crunch's OOPS! ALL BERRIES cereal. Fuckin' worst cereal ever.

Love,
FuckThatBand.com Staff

P.S. For another cereal related post, CLICK HERE. Or don't. We don't care.

P.S.S. Mom, if you are reading this post, I need a ride to the mall later on. K?

The music by Mayday Parade is just like Wendy's: shitty and overpriced, and undercooked, and the service is horrible, one time I ordered a Frosty, just a Frosty and it took 25 minutes. For a fucking Frosty! Fuck Mayday Parade, it was all their fault. I am sure THEY were behind that SOMEHOW. Jerks.

Another thing that pisses me off about Wendy's, oops, I mean Mayday Parade, oops I mean Wendy's, oops I mean Mayday Parade is those commercials they have where they go "It's Not Fast Food. It's Wendy’s." How is Wendy's not fast food? It's like the fucking definition of fast food. Telling me Wendy's is not fast food is like telling me that Mayday Parade makes "decent" music. NO FUCKIN WAY MAN!!! If you try to spoon feed me those lies, I am going to THROW UP ON YOU AND YOUR CHEAP MONDAY JEANS. Cheap monday jeans are for dorks.

Sent from my Amazon Kindle.

I mean...

Sent from my iPad.